And You’d Probably End Up Getting Change

So which Hollywood types have the best bods in the biz?

Based on an extensive poll of casting directors and fitness trainers, here’s how InStyle magazine sees it, running down the list one item at a time:

Best neck: Joan Chen and Denzel Washington.

Best chest: Jamie Lee Curtis and Mark Wahlberg (aka Marky Mark).

Best arms: Laura Dern and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Best abs: Nicollette Sheridan and Brad Pitt.

Best legs: Sharon Stone and Patrick Swayze.

Best behind: Mel Gibson and Madonna.

Said one awed admirer of the Material Girl: “You could bounce a quarter off that butt.”

Shirley MacLaine, putting it all in perspective (on the “Late Late Show with Tom Snyder”): “I think the world’s going through a global nervous breakdown. I think it’s millennium consciousness. People are trying to balance their karma.”

Coming soon, the sequel: ‘Love Can Fill the Fridge’

Wynonna (as in Judd) turns 31 today.

Guess she’s found a new way to turn the world on

Wholesome Mary Tyler Moore will cavort in her underwear in a scene in the upcoming movie “Flirting With Disaster.” Director David O. Russell told GQ magazine that Moore won the role after arriving “dressed very sexily” for a meeting at a hotel.

Either way, you have to deal with a lot of trash

After two years, Ricki Lake is getting a little tired of the talk show grind. “It worries me to think of doing this until I’m in my 30s, but at the same time I’m so lucky to have this opportunity,” she told Out magazine. “Yeah, I could sit here and complain, but it’s a lot better than busing tables.”

Poor Conan is neither interested nor interesting

This from Charles Grodin, who has his own talk show on CNBC: “You will never hear me ask anyone what they’ve been doing or what they’ve got coming up. It’s not that interesting … Very few people have an interest in other people, and very often the people who are hosting talk shows are the last people that have an interest in other people.”

You can’t blame the chop shop for wanting its cut

Infamous manicurist Lorena Bobbitt is back in court. An auto-body shop in Stafford, Va., says that after it did $920 worth of work on her car, Bobbitt took the insurance check - made out jointly to her and the shop - and cashed it herself.

Sounds like they’ve both got holes in their heads

And Joey Buttafuoco has been arrested again, this time for propositioning an undercover vice cop on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip. Wife Mary Jo, who calls her hubby “a friendly guy,” said on Howard Stern’s radio show: “It could only happen to Joey.”

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino