Here’s Hoping They Sign Oil Can Boyd

Exxon Co. officials have accused the Columbus (Ga.) RedStixx baseball team of violating the oil company’s trademark by using a double-X in its logo. The Class A team says it’s standing by its logo, leaving the oil giant, uh, exxasperated.

“We have spent a lot of time and money and effort to build the Exxon brand name,” spokesman Bruce Tackett said. “As part of that, we have a logo, the interlocking x’s, that is copyrighted and protected. We’d hope that (the team) wouldn’t infringe on that.”

Maybe the team will call itself the Valdez, instead. We’d bet you a bourbon Exxon didn’t copyright that.

Shill loudly, and carry different sticks

So, we hear you’re playing Tommy Armour irons, just like Davis Love III. No? Bet you’ve got King Cobra woods, then, just like Greg Norman. What? Then you must be swinging a Lynx driver, a la Fred Couples.

Regardless, your club of choice probably isn’t theirs. Love, leading pitchman for Tommy Armour, quietly carried Mizuno sticks when he won the Freeport-McMoRan Classic and finished strong at the Masters last month. For Norman, partownership in Cobra Equipment didn’t keep him from sneaking a Maruman metal 3-wood into his bag at Augusta. And Couples, Seattle’s own, recently opted for a Callaway Big Bertha driver instead of the Lynx club he pushes relentlessly on TV.

A Founders Club ad features Lanny Wadkins hitting the new cast oversized, cavity-back Judge iron and saying it has “a sweet spot the size of Texas.” On tour, Wadkins uses some of the company’s mid-sized irons, designed for elite players. “The comment I make in the commercial is based on my experience of hitting that iron,” Wadkins rationalized. “Nowhere in there does it say I’m using it.”

A sweet spot the size of Texas, a conscience the size of Rhode Island.

Never met a Mets joke they didn’t like

Based in New York, it’s natural for David Letterman to rip the Mets. Working out of Los Angeles hasn’t kept Jay Leno from piling on.

Says Dave: “You know, the Pope will be coming to New York soon for three days. The first day, he’ll say Mass at Shea Stadium. The next two days, he’ll be hearing confessions from Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden.”

And Letterman recently put together the “Top 10 Signs The NYPD Is Out of Control.” Ranking 6th was, “We’re 20 games into the season, and they still haven’t arrested a single New York Met.”

Adds Jay: “Did you see what happened at the Mets game the other day? A sprinkler went off and they had to call in a plumber to fix it. A plumber at a baseball game? That’s just what they need - another milliondollar salary.”

Making 50 gadzillion a year, Leno shouldn’t squawk.

The last word …

“I’m looking for a 6-foot-7 guy with great SATs and a Messiah complex.”

- Richard Harris, basketball coach at Webb Institute of Naval Architecture in New York, winless the last seven years