You Must Work Through Grief
This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.
Dear Nancy: Due to work layoffs, my family recently made its second major move in a year from Houston, Texas, to Spokane. Also, my father died in June. I have not been able to find work in my field and I have anxiety about the permanence of this latest move. This dream was so thought-provoking. What could it mean? - Kari
I am at a party where the host is showing me around and introducing me to everyone. He is older and very warm and caring. I trust him. We leave on bicycles and are riding down the street. The host is in the lead and I am having a hard time keeping up with him.
We come upon a Taco Bell that is on fire with smoke and flames pouring out. People are running and screaming out of the building. I see a baby alone in a parked car crying for its mother. My host grabs the baby out of the car and runs into the burning Taco Bell. I hear him scream, “My God, I hope I have the right baby!”
Dear Kari: Let’s begin by looking at the host. You trust him and, when we talked on the phone, you said he felt like your “inner guide.” He’s trying to make you more comfortable in your new surroundings. He leads you on a bicycle, which suggests he is providing balance in your life.
The restaurant is a place of nurturing and sustenance. A Taco Bell suggests that it may represent the southern city of Houston and the nurturing and comfort that you found there. The burning building may illustrate your husband’s loss of work in Houston and the fleeing people, your family. The place of employment has disappeared or “gone up in smoke.”
Fire is a universal symbol of cleansing and purification. What the fire cleanses, or burns away, is usually blocked emotions. When the old is destroyed, it makes way for the new life and new energy.
The baby is the aspect of yourself that feels cut off and alone. It is crying for its mother, the source of its nurturing. This could be you grieving over your lost home and your recently deceased father.
Moving to a new location, which you have done twice in a year, and losing a loved one the same year creates a lot of stress and pain. Have you let yourself grieve over these events?
The host, your inner guide, takes the baby into the fire, into the place of purification. This in the inferno, the place of letting go, releasing the tears and the anguish. The host’s comment, “I hope I have the right baby,” suggests there may be other events to purge in the fire of your consciousness. Grieving is a healing path, Kari, and, by going through it, we claim a fuller and freer life.
Tips for readers: Last week I gave you some tips for remembering your dreams. Here are a couple more:
Drink lots of water before going to bed. You are more likely to remember what you were dreaming if you awaken during the night. Don’t forget to take your journal and pen to the bathroom with you!
Don’t forget about nap-time dreams. Often, these dreams are easier to remember and are striking and powerful.
xxxx