Cheap Seats
Guilt by association
Idaho volleyball coach Tom Hilbert, profiled in a Spokesman-Review story the other day, was taken aback by a comparison to Indiana’s state volcano, Bobby Knight.
“The only thing I have in common with Bobby Knight,” Hilbert said, “is we both chewed Rance Pugmire’s butt.”
Pugmire, you may wonder, is a former UI sports information director who was assisting in the NCAA Tournament last spring when he ran afoul of Knight.
You are what you speak
Even if it turns out that Howard Schnellenberger can’t produce better football teams at Oklahoma than his fired predecessor, Gary Gibbs, he’ll make it easier to listen to the losing.
For instance, when asked about recruiting on the day of his hiring, Schnellenberger said he planned “to build a great wall of China around the state and drive out the infidels.”
Drive out the infidels? After a recent scrimmage, Schnellenberger noted, “It’s hard to stand out on defense when the offense is so bad. Little Lord Fauntleroy could have looked like Superman today.”
Still, he wants Sooners fans to pay attention. He urged fans who usually leave at halftime so they can grab a beer to stick around. “If you just have to have a beer,” he said, “stuff one in your sock.”
Which is just his way of saying the 1995 Oklahoma football season should be worth watching.
“I envision books being written about it,” he said, “and movies being made of it.”
As long as it isn’t “The Sorrow and the Pity.”
Get me rewrite
Backup quarterback Ashley McNalley had a jittery debut for Sonoma State in a 59-7 blasting at the hands of St. Mary’s last week. He was so nervous he was calling signals that didn’t exist in the playbook.
“He kept saying, ‘Black 88, Black 88!’ and everyone was looking at him with this funny expression,” said Sonoma coach Frank Scalercio, whose Cossacks play Idaho next Saturday. “Heck, maybe we should have run ‘Black 88’ - it might have worked as well as anything else that day.”
I am woman, play me more
The Colorado Silver Bullets have spent the past two summers trying to prove that women deserve respect as baseball players, but guess who they won’t play? Other women.
Earlier this season, the Stockton Ports asked to add Lisa Martinez to their roster as a pitcher. And the Oakland-Alameda Fire Department team wanted to play a woman at second base who was a former college softball player. Both requests were denied - even though Martinez is a former Silver Bullet herself.
“Next season we are considering asking each team to include one female player - the best they can find - and use that as a way to help us scout new players,” said team president Bob Hope. “However, for the time being we play only men.”
You heard the man - just wait ‘til next year.
The last word …
“I heard someone’s heart beat out there today.”
- Twins outfielder Kirby Puckett, after just 2,742 fans attended an afternoon game at the Metrodome against Detroit
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo