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Arizona Cardinals coach Buddy Ryan made a lot of bold statements in training camp. For one thing, he claimed to know as much about offense as any NFL coach.
When the club had to break training camp in Flagstaff, Ariz., one day early because of a sewer problem, team owner Bill Bidwell told Ryan: “You spread so much (manure) around up there that it’s starting to back up on you.”
Could this be why his restaurant went bankrupt, too?
Elsewhere in Arizona . . .
Coach Dick Tomey had his University of Arizona football staff at a mountain retreat this summer. One day, he returned from a 6 a.m. jog to find a full-grown black bear rummaging through a cooler a few feet from assistant Jeff Hammerschmidt, who was asleep.
Tomey crept into the cabin and called to Hammerschmidt in a loud whisper, ‘Hammer! Bear! Hammer! Bear!”
The defensive backfield coach woke up, and even though he was a bit startled, he didn’t panic.
“I couldn’t understand why he was offering me a beer at 6:30 in the morning,” Hammerschmidt said.
Because the bear already had one, of course.
More than a Penny for his thoughts
It seems Anfernee Hardaway gets round-the-clock protection at taxpayer expense whenever he sets foot in Memphis, as part of a contract with the Shelby County Sheriff’s Department.
Two officers split the detail when the Orlando Magic star returns to his hometown in the off-season for appearances on behalf of the “Be Drug Free” campaign. One officer makes $59,088 per year, and the other earns $35,544.
“I think it’s only right, and it’s only fair,” said Randy Wade, who helps guard Hardaway. “As long as he represents us and helps with the fight against drugs.”
Hardaway first signed the contract in 1993 to make personal appearances and ads and let his likeness be used to clothing and posters. The contract describes the security detail as a “material inducement” for Hardaway to serve as spokesman for “Be Drug Free.”
Remember, be drug free but don’t come cheap.
No cummerbund?
Don’t question the devotion of Seahawks fan Roy Ashman of Birmingham, England.
He married his longtime girlfriend this summer on the Caribbean island of St. Lucia. She wore a white dress and he wore a blue Seahawks jersey - a Rick Mirer-replica No. 3.
And all the guests overthrew the rice.
The last word …
“So Tonya Harding is embarking on a career as a recording artist. Let’s hope Whitney Houston still has that bodyguard.”
- Bob Lacey, San Francisco comedy writer
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