The Hot Seat A Weekly Look At People In The News

Just the fax ma’am

The Spokane Police Department is on-line with its own web site. Now anyone in the world can get UNFILTERED information directly from the horse’s, eh, mouth. And it’s about time. We know a lot about unfiltered information from the Spokane Police Department. We just can’t figure out how they’re going to get all that white-out to show up on a computer screen.

Solving one problem just creates another

Scientists are testing a new procedure that uses a woman’s own cells to create tissue that grows inside the breast. The aim is to help women who have undergone mastectomies, but also could be used for cosmetic breast enlargement. This year the scientists are trying the treatment in laboratory rats. Great news for millions of women but what about the poor test rats who are left behind. These buxom rodents will be left to wander the laboratory with cigarette smoking, saccharin saturated test rats pawing at their cages and yelling HOOOWAAAH! Can the animal rights activists and their lawyers be far behind?

If you’ve got the money honey…

Well, our critics are mad at us again. Why don’t they ever have anything good to say? A free press, an independent voice and diversity of opinion all sound like good ideas but they’re just too much trouble anymore. We’re tired of being on the side that is broke and powerless, so we’re shopping for a sponsor. Buy us a meal and we’ll rave about your restaurant. Give us a cool sweatshirt and we’ll support your sports team. But to get our undying support, you’ll have to come up with some cake. Interested? Send copies of a recent pay stub, stock portfolio, savings account balance and a picture of your house and boat to Scott Sines, c/o The Hot Seat.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: The Hot Seat is an irreverent look at controversial issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer. Today’s Hot Seat was written by Scott Sines.