It’S All Relative On This Flight

A few years ago, we remarked that when out of town you could usually locate the airport gate from which a Spokane-bound flight would be leaving just by looking for the group of people who seemed the most dazed and confused.

A few readers took offense.

Well, we hope it’s not too late to apologize. Because observations made on a recent trip suggest that our earlier findings were flawed.

It’s not the people who actually live in Spokane who look that way in airports. It’s their Minnesota relatives who are going to visit them.

Consistency: “My boyfriend, Bruce Todd, beats out Glynis Tucker’s husband for wearing T-shirts to work the most days in a row,” wrote Ginnie Cocchiarella. “He has worn them every day (whether going to work or not) for the last 18 years.”

No comment: An alert reader noticed that a Spokane Association of Realtors supplement to the Swell Paper last month included an article offering tips on protecting your home from break-ins. And it included the memorable sentence “These are just a few ideas on making your valuable asses a bit safer.”

Best American-made car: Vicki Leuthold says it was the ‘66 Ford Mustang. “Especially if convertible.”

Another great backyard chef: Barbara Tuttle sang the praises of Jack Morrison. “He can barbecue for two to 17,000 people,” she said.

Personally, we hate it when 17,000 people come over. You run out of stuff halfway through dinner. But maybe the secret is to call Jack and have him plan and cook the meal.

Slice answer: “While trolling Little Twin Lake in the Pend Oreille chain with my 300-pound friend and his 11-year-old son, the boy hooked up with a fish and pulled it out of the water so hard it hit me in the head and the lure stuck in my hat with the fish wiggling back and forth in front of my eyes,” wrote Joe Campbell. “I didn’t think it was very funny at the time. But the boy’s father laughed so hard he nearly tipped over our little boat. Glad he didn’t have a camera.”

Warm-up question from Carley Rice: “Did anyone else think the Lone Ranger was the Long Ranger?”

Today’s Slice question: How much money would you have if you had a nickel for every time you found yourself saying “No, Seattle is about 300 miles away”?