Cheap Seats

Seven months later…

Kansas City quarterback Steve Bono threw three interceptions in a 10-7 playoff loss to the Indianapolis Colts in December, and Chiefs fans are still smarting over it. As the team was walking off the practice field in River Falls, Wis., a sweetly smiling woman in a flaming red Chiefs hat, pants and jacket stopped them for autographs.

“Here comes Steve Bono,” said the man behind her.

“So who cares?” she said.

What? You were expecting Congressman Sonny?

The Fat Man zings

This from former Cleveland Indian Carlos Baerga, shocked and saddened when he learned he’d been exiled to the not-so-amazin’ Mets:

“Teams in first place don’t make these kinds of trades,” said Baerga, who had reported 30 pounds overweight last spring and battled a season-long offensive slump. “These are the kinds of trades a team in second or third place makes, trying to shake things up.”

As far as the loss of a leader?

Choir boy Orel Hershiser chimed in with this opinion: “What is it that somebody said?

“Leadership is a three-run homer? Leadership comes when you’re producing on the field, and when a guy isn’t producing on the field, it’s sometimes tough to be a leader.”

A rocky dismissal

Rowdy the Raccoon, mascot of the Bend (Ore.) Bandits, is out of a job after being accused of squirting water and throwing gravel at his former girlfriend during a game.

The man behind the costume, David Scott Karr, 34, was arrested on three counts of menacing but has not been charged. Bandits spokesman Tom Hamilton said Karr was dismissed after the incident.

The Bandits hired a mystery man to replace Karr and pose as their mascot, promising he will he a kinder, gentler Rowdy the Raccoon.

Team officials refused to release the identity of the new mascot. “We want to keep that mysticism about him,” Hamilton said.

Green-carpet competition

Journalists from Norway and Denmark have set up their own Atlanta Olympic croquet competition in the press center, using soda cans and bottles spread on a green carpet. For their gold-medal match, they promise to wear long white trousers and straw hats.

And of course, John Tesh will call the “plausibly live” contest.

The last word …

“My guess is 90 percent of the crowd was under 35 years old, and 50 percent of the spectators - men and women - weren’t wearing all their clothing. Being a fat, old, bald guy I stood out like Bob Dole in a mosh pit.”

- Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser on covering Olympic beach volleyball

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo