Potential To Help Is Undeniable
Dear Ann Landers: You have said that the Internet has disrupted relationships between couples and destroyed marriages. That is not the fault of the Internet. Those relationships were already in trouble.
We still use the telephone even though some people make obscene calls. Newspapers have a “personals” section, and people who post those ads are usually living just as much a fantasy life as are the Internet flirts. They’re just as disappointed when Prince Charming turns out to be a frog, or the “girl of his dreams” is indisputably an idiot. But we still buy the paper.
The Internet offers an opportunity to exchange ideas with people around the globe and introduce them to our culture. It has put me in touch with people in the Middle East, Europe, Asia, the United Kingdom and Australia. I find that most people are simply interested in being part of a larger community and nothing more. Please don’t ascribe sinister motives to something that is basically human nature. - K.G. in Birmingham, Ala.
Dear K.G.: You have made some valid points. I agree that relationships that are destroyed by cyber-flirting were in trouble to begin with. And indeed, the Internet can be a great source of information. In fact, I just received this letter from the American Self-Help Clearinghouse, an excellent resource that provides listings of self-help groups of all kinds. Read on:
Dear Ann Landers: We wanted you and your readers to know that there are many supportive communities of people helping one another on the Internet.
Now, over 1,000 different self-help groups are available on-line. There is support and information for abused women, alcoholics, those dealing with mental illness, parents of children with disabilities, smokers, diabetics, overeaters and those who have had lung transplants or those suffering from cardiac disease, spinal injury, stroke or deafness - the list is endless. The emotional support given by individuals who share the same kind of problem can be incalculable.
People can learn about the latest groups, like the one for those suffering with latex allergies, or join with others to start a badly needed new support network that may not yet exist.
One Internet dialog helped a man whose young son accidentally strangled himself. The father was in great pain and seeking emotional support, solace and assistance. He received responses from others who had been through the tragedy of losing a loved one, and several referred him to The Compassionate Friends, an organization for parents whose children have died and one which you have recommended many times in your column. When this kind of tragedy strikes, such an organization can be a godsend.
The Internet can be used to reduce much of the isolation, suffering and pain in this world. The American Self-Help Clearinghouse has an on-line database of international and national groups. It includes addresses and phone numbers, as well as mail addresses where available. Our Internet address is http://www.cmhc.com/selfhelp/. I hope you will tell your readers about the hundreds of self-help groups out there. - Edward J. Madara, director, American Self-Help Clearinghouse, Northwest Covenant Medical Center, Denville, N.J.
Dear Edward J. Madara: I won’t have to tell them. After they read your letter, your Web site will get a lot of hits. Thank you and good luck!