Discuss This With Your Mom
Dear Ann Landers: I am a sixth-grade student, and I don’t know where to turn with my problem.
About a month ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. I wasn’t feeling well and came downstairs to look for my mother. I heard her talking on the phone to a friend. Mom said, “I miss ‘Johnnie,’ and I’m so happy he’s coming back home because I love him so much.” Ann, she wasn’t talking about my father.
I stood there quietly and listened while she told her friend that the man she is in love with is married with two teenage boys and won’t leave his wife yet. I learned a lot in the few minutes I was standing behind the kitchen door. Apparently, “Johnnie” had been calling her from his out-of-town job and Mom had been sending him e-mail on the computer. She has been seeing him for over two years and said she has never been happier. She also said she’d wait for him forever if she has to.
I’m scared that my father will find out about this. My younger brother and sister love my mother a lot, and I am very upset by what is going on. Should I tell Mom I heard her conversation, or should I tell my dad? - Upset in Worcester, Mass.
Dear W.M.: Do not tell your dad you heard the conversation. It’s not up to you to be an informer. Do tell your mom, however, and let her know you are concerned about what you heard.
Tell her, too, that I recommend counseling to help you over the rough road that lies ahead. You are not alone. A large percentage of today’s marriages end in divorce, and most of these couples have children. Since misery loves company, you have a lot. Chin up, dear, and good luck.
Dear Ann Landers: I was sitting in my car in a shopping center parking lot this afternoon waiting for the lady in the car ahead of me to move. She was waiting for the car to her left to stop at the intersection. Instead of stopping, the young driver made a sudden turn to his right, driving directly across the parking spots. As he approached my car, he yelled, “Get the $% over!”
Ann, this young person could see I was old enough to be his grandmother. It was very upsetting to me to hear language like that directed at me - especially when he was in the wrong. I did not respond, because these days, you never know if the person in the other car has a gun or if he’s on drugs.
I can’t get this out of my mind. What is wrong with young people today that they have such dirty mouths? I was raised to respect my elders, and I raised my children the same way. My grandchildren know how I feel about crude language, and they would never use such words around me.
I hope the young people who read your column will get it through their heads that vulgar language is terribly offensive to older people. It can ruin their day. It certainly ruined mine. - Kansas City, Mo.
Dear K.C., Mo.: Like you, I, too, am offended by vulgar language, but I’ll be darned if I will let it ruin my day.
The world has changed a lot these last 30 years, and it’s going to change even more with standards eroding everywhere you look. What children learn at home is still the strongest force in their lives. This is why it’s so important that parents set a good example and establish firm guidelines of morality and concern for others. If they don’t get it early, they don’t get it, period.
Gem of the Day: Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. - Billy Rose