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Caught in a pinch
Give a little pinch to someone’s buttocks in the state of Utah and it could cost you $750,000.
That’s what NBA star Dennis Rodman is up against from Lavon Ankers, a Delta Center usher who claims he pinched her during a San Antonio game, when Rodman was still a Spur, two years ago and is suing.
“As defendant Rodman walked past the plaintiff, he placed his hand on the plaintiff’s buttocks and pinched her,” according to the civil suit filed in U.S. District Court.
Ankers says she was “greatly humiliated, shamed, embarrassed and endured great mental suffering,” the case states.
“Frankly, she didn’t invite or in anyway ask Rodman to touch or pinch her on the buttocks,” her lawyer, Harry Caston said.
For a kiss, she could have tacked on another 250 grand.
Sinking feeling
Add this to the unlimited list of excuses one uses to justify why golf isn’t as easy as it looks on TV.
Here’s Laura Davies reasoning on why the women of the LPGA don’t putt as well as the men of the PGA. “It’s because of the quality of the greens we play on. Ours vary so much, it’s hard to improve. The men’s tour provides them with good greens all the time. That’s why they are better,”
If only that boob Ben Wright would have thought of that, he’d still have a job.
Rats, it’s the Orkin man
The National Hockey League plans to play the part of the Pied Piper next season when it tries to rid Miami Arena of rodents, in particular the plastic rats thrown by Panthers fans after goals.
Not unexpectedly, the league’s general managers have agreed to enforce a rule prohibiting fans from throwing objects onto the ice. That means no more rats in Miami, octopuses in Detroit and garbage in Boston.
The reason: Such antics delay the game.
“It took us less time to clean off 1,000 rats than it takes other teams to clean off 30 hats after hat tricks,” Panthers’ assistant to the GM Kevin Dessart said.
But it still takes more time to clean the vomit off the blue seats at Madison Square Garden.
Broncos in Hog heaven
When 6-foot-5, 290-pound Broderick Thompson rides along U.S. Highway 85 from Denver to Greeley, Colo., he gets strange looks.
Thompson is one of seven Denver Broncos players - five weigh at least 280 pounds - who own Harley-Davidson motorcycles, which are so popular that many are sold before they’re made.
“We’ve gotten some strange looks from people,” Thompson said. “People see us and think it’s this new steroid gang.”
The last word …
“Look on the bright side, Angels fans; if Major League Baseball decides to try this neutral-site World Series thing, Anaheim will be in the running as host city … every year.”
- The Sporting News
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo