Dissatisfaction Cuts Two Ways

Dear Readers: I am on vacation, but I have left behind some of my favorite columns that you may have missed the first time around. I hope you enjoy them. - Ann Landers

Dear Ann Landers: I am a mother of three children and have had it up to here with quizzes that are supposed to show whether I am a “good parent.” My answer is “I am as good a parent as I can be,” and I mean it.

My husband and I love each other (the Rev. Theodore Hesburgh’s first rule). We do things as a family. We take an interest in our children’s school projects and activities.

We don’t spoil them with gifts or privileges. They work for spending money. They aren’t disciplined with a strap. We use the “talk-it-out” approach.

What then is my gripe? Simply this: As they get older, they become more surly, more irresponsible and more disobedient. They quarrel among themselves, whine, sulk and complain.

I used to enjoy doing things for them, but now I find it neither satisfying nor rewarding.

I know we are not alone, Ann. Our friends tell us, “If you think they are a handful now, just wait a couple of years.” Maybe if the kids would try a little harder, more parents would be able to answer “yes” to that survey you ran - “If you had it to do over again, would you have had children?” Here’s a quiz for them - for a change:

1. When did you last hug your mom without wanting something?

2. When did you last make an attempt to be especially pleasant to your dad without asking him to fix something?

3. Do you say hello to your parents’ friends and treat them with respect?

4. Do you take pride in your home, or do you leave yogurt cups in the living room and the spills for someone else to clean up? How about the yard? Did you leave your new football out in the rain all night?

5. How about the car? Can a person sit down without getting stuck to a wad of gum? Speaking of the car, when was the last time Dad had to pull over to the curb or the shoulder of the road because of the yelling or fighting in the back seat?

6. When did you last tell your mom that the dinner was good and that you appreciate the effort she puts into cooking for you?

7. Are you on time when Mom or Dad offers to drive you somewhere or pick you up? Are you where you are supposed to be, or do they have to look for you?

8. When was the last time Mom or Dad had to bring a forgotten lunch or book to school? Do you ever say thanks for this?

9. When did you last do what you were told without asking why or saying, “Wait a minute” or “Do I have to?”

10. Are you proud of your mom or dad? Their manners? Could they be proud of you?

Please, kids, we love you. We could have a wonderful time together, but it’s a two-way street. You have to do your part. - Florida Mom

Dear Mom: Millions of eyes will see your letter and the quiz. It’s sure to make many parents feel less alone.

Your complaints are par for the course. It may also connect with a few million kids out there who need to shape up. Thanks for the input.

xxxx