The Slice A Case Of ‘Two Steps Forward, One Step Back’

So this cafe food-handler was wearing plastic gloves, a good sign.

Then, without taking them off, she goes to the cash register and starts making change for somebody. Sigh.

Wish you were here: Thanks to the readers who sent us postcards from their summer vacations. We enjoyed hearing about your far-flung travels. And we hummed that Lindsey Buckingham song from “National Lampoon’s Vacation” as we read the cards. “Hol-i-day ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oad….”

Request for a rerun: We asked this question a few years ago. But Tina Matney wants us to pose it again.

How many different wildlife species (list them, please) have you seen right around your home?

Matney, who lives about 25 miles north of Colville, has spotted everything from moose to, well, you name it. “And that’s without even leaving our deck,” she said.

Don’t they have unicorns and woolly mammoths up there?

Slice answer: A wildlife biologist told us where thousands of gulls nest locally. But in case raccoons or some other egg-disturbers read The Slice, we’ve decided not to tell. Sorry.

Timing is everything: “We have just had our home re-carpeted and re-tiled,” wrote Chewelah’s Mary McDonnell. “During the first night after the completion, our dog had an attack of diarrhea.”

Excuses for being late: Several readers passed along lists of alibis offered by their workplaces’ king or queen of tardiness. Our favorite came from a woman whose identity we agreed to conceal. She said a guy she works with named David has used all of the following…mother is sick, mother doing better - but had to move her, broken well pump, waiting for broken well pump parts, wife is sick, had to take wife to work, meet w/attorney - divorcing wife, hurt back, meet w/bank - financial issues, overheated car, bad radiator hose, flew in late last night, had to take daughter to airport, missed his flight, pulled over - no tabs on car….

Spokane-inspired dance craze (the “Say Amend, Somebody”): “The public pays your admission and you waltz around asking all the other dancers irrelevant personal questions.” - Scott Cowden

Today’s Slice questions: In your opinion, does the Spokane area have a higher or lower percentage of jerks than the national average? Why?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 color photos

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Simply having an old football injury doesn’t mean a guy was ever a decent player.