The Slice If Only Someone With Vision Had Given Us This Great Tip
Kids, take a tip from a sadder-but-wiser baby boomer who knows.
Do not even think about playing with the toys you receive for Christmas. Don’t even open the product packages.
Store them in the “Future Collectibles” corner of your closet. Then wait a few decades. Trust us, that stuff will be worth big money.
One way to tell that a radio disc jockey hasn’t been here long: Listen for the pronunciation of “Qualchan.”
Face it: Casual-attire Fridays have gotten boring. What we need instead, to spice things up, are one-time theme days. You know, like “Pirate Tuesday,” where everyone at your office answers the phone by snarling “Arrrrrrrr.” Or perhaps “North Idaho Stereotype Day,” during which workers go around dressed like, well, just use your imagination.
Paper or plastic: We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. Supermarket cashiers are the Spokane area’s true sex symbols. Someone ought to do a calendar.
Overheard at the Elk Cafe in Spokane’s Browne’s Addition (two twentysomething guys talking about a new hire at some local business): “Does he have any ideas?”
“Not new ones.”
“Well, then they aren’t ideas.”
Space Filler Theater: 1. One of the strongest human impulses is the urge to comment on other people’s hats. 2. Today’s infants will go to first grade in the next century. 3. With two weeks till Christmas Eve, we want to call a timeout to stop the clock.
Best sports uniforms: 1. Chicago Blackhawks. 2. Pittsburgh Steelers. 3. Indianapolis Colts. 4. New York Yankees. 5. Los Angeles Dodgers.
Heads up: Your wisecrack about fruitcakes could cost you. The profruitcake faction, contending that all such cakes are not gooey brown bricks, is in full backlash mode.
People are cocked and ready to take offense at fruitcake slurs.
Warm-up question: If your life were a book or movie that marketers tried to promote with snippets of praise from critics or other authors - you know, “His is an important new voice of a generation” or “It’s the slap-happy laugh riot of the year!” - what would the blurbs say?
Today’s Slice question: Who makes up the audience for localaccess programming on cable TV and do the authorities have their names?
, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. There are those in Spokane who think you’re an oddball if you aren’t on antidepressants.