Cheap Seats
The old Wheel route
Broncos linebacker Bill Romanowski will rub elbows with Pat Sajak and Vanna White in an celebrity edition of “Wheel of Fortune.”
The show, which will air in January, teams NFL players with regular contestants, with the winnings going to charity.
“I used to watch it a bunch,” said Romanowski, who will be joined by San Diego’s Stan Humphries, Seattle’s Joey Galloway and former Jet Dennis Byrd. “I haven’t watched it in a while, so maybe I’ll have a good partner.”
Why not Elvis Grbac? Because he’d always want to buy a vowel, silly.
If you can’t say something nice …
… you were probably teammates once on the Golden State Warriors. Like Tim Hardaway and Billy Owens, for instance, who should not be invited to your next party.
Says Hardaway, now a Miami Heat guard: “Billy Owens don’t have no heart. He has a lot of talent, but his heart is like an ant. He’s a coward.”
Says Owens, now with the Sacramento Kings: “When I came to the team, players told me about (Hardaway), said he’ll be below-the-belt or whatever, and I shouldn’t trust him. He was exactly what the players were saying. He was sort of like a brown-noser.”
Eddie Sefko of the Houston Chronicle sums it up: “Actually, they’re both right. Hardaway is a manipulative little cancerous demon and Owens is gutless and uncaring about the team effort.”
And let us tell you a thing or two about this Sefko guy…
Hostel takeover
The new $150 million Amsterdam Arena stadium that is home to the Ajax soccer team must change its name, a court has ruled.
The giant stadium on the southern edge of the Dutch capital shares its name with an Amsterdam backpackers hostel and cultural center. Amsterdam judges ruled that the 51,000-seat stadium was too easily confused with the 600-bed facility for budget travelers and ordered the sports stadium to change its name or start paying damages.
So whenever they decide to take our new joint corporate, the name Gospel Mission Arena is out.
Olfactory reject
Michael Jordan’s new cologne hasn’t been a hit among NBA players, according to Mike O’Hara of the Detroit News.
“They’re getting too many fragrant fouls,” he claims.
You deserve a snake today
Bengals guard Scott Brumfield lives in the town of Spanish Fork, Utah, and takes several of his big-city teammates camping during the off-season.
One of the delicacies of the trips is rattlesnake.
“When you’re in the desert,” Brumfield said, “you take the skin off, clean it, wrap it in aluminum foil with onions and stuff like that and throw it in the coals. It’s just like a chicken nugget.”
If the rattler bites you, is that called an Ouch Deluxe?
The last word …
“If Ron Turner has been hired to uphold Illinois football tradition, he won’t need both hands. Illinois football tradition can be upheld with a post-em and a paper clip.”
- Chicago Tribune columnist Bernie Lincicome
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo