Only The Top Celebrities Get To See The Lakers Free

In Los Angeles when the Lakers take the floor, as many eyes are glued to the stands as are cast toward the players.

Earvin “Magic” Johnson has returned to the floor, but Jack Nicholson has almost always been in his own court-side seat for years.

And he’s not been alone. Other regulars include Linda Fiorentino, Paramount chief Sherry Lansing, John Cusack, Charlie Sheen and rap star Hammer. In recent games, such celebs as David Schwimmer (“Friends”), Chazz Palminteri, Arsenio Hall, David Keith and Matthew Broderick have been spotted at games.

“It was like a rock concert, not basketball,” said Greg Fine, assistant to Laker owner Jerry Buss and the man responsible for comping tickets to needy celebs.

Two who didn’t get tickets: David Hasselhoff and Noah Wylie (“E.R.”).

Loose talk

Morgan Fairchild, quoting an unnamed director’s advice on how to devise her career plan (in People magazine): “He said, ‘Honey, I can get an ingenue anywhere. But a good bitch is hard to find.”’

Even now, his shirt is so won-der-ful-ly love-ly

Donovan turns 50 today.

And we could use Tylenol for the subsequent headache

Advertising Age’ Bradley Johnson suggested that Procter & Gamble, the makers of Olestra - the new fat substitute said to cause diarrhea and cramps - should plan “a cross promotion with Pepto-Bismol.”

She was the original Material Girl, Charo-style

Madonna says she is truly respectful of Eva Peron, the character she is set to play in the soon-to-be-shooting adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical “Evita.” “I’m full of admiration for her,” Madonna said. “She came from nothing to have such influence over the country. The more I knew, the more I wanted to know.”

And then they all hoisted one for The Gipper

The guest of honor wasn’t present, but his fans, friends and family attended the 85th birthday party held for ex-president Ronald Reagan. “I’d like to propose a toast to my fella, my love,” said Nancy Reagan, standing before a 12-foot portrait of her husband. But the high moment came when a group, led by Bob Dole, sang “Happy Birthday” over the phone to Reagan, who spent the evening at his Bel Air home.

And she has no interest in visiting Buckingham Palace

Retired British general Andrew Parker Bowles married wealthy divorcee Rosemary Pitman (after a one-day engagement) in a London civil ceremony on Wednesday. “She’s marvelous, what else can I say?” Parker Bowles said, neglecting to mention the status of his ex-wife Camilla Parker Bowles and her “friend” Prince Charles.

Hey, George, how ‘bout a game of Battleship?

White House aide George Stephanopoulos sure is cute. “Some people compare me to John Kennedy,” he said at a recent breakfast conference attended by John F. Kennedy Jr., “especially when I play under the president’s desk during meetings.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster