Share The Stories; Break The Cycle

Cordelia tortured Elaine with words, with actions. At home, at school. One day Cordelia buried Elaine in a hole she dug in the back yard. Another time Cordelia threw Elaine’s “stupid” hat in a river and ordered her to collect it. She did and almost drowned.

Elaine kept it all inside. Didn’t tell her parents, her teachers, her other friends. She handled it another way. “In the endless time when Cordelia had such power over me, I peeled the skin off my feet. I did it at night, when I was supposed to be sleeping. Nobody but me ever looked at my feet, so nobody knew.”

Elaine, the main character in Margaret Atwood’s piercing book, “Cat’s Eye,” was the victim of a bully, Cordelia. As an adult looking back, Elaine can still recall the horror, and her silence in the midst of it. There are thousands of Elaines out there. And thousands of Cordelias.

Adolescents bully others for being too fat, too thin, too rich, too poor, too smart, too dumb, too shy, too loud, too ugly, too pretty. No one can predict which child will be a target and adults often have no clue as to the extent of harassment.

Those who bully can be subtle and manipulative. They can disguise their bullying as play. And the targeted child often holds it all inside until the pain erupts, until the peeled-skin feet are discovered by a compassionate adult. Or, in the worst case, until the victim grabs a weapon.

Breaking the silence is the key to diminishing the horror of bullying. Many Inland Northwest schools have programs trying to do just that. At Salk Middle School, for instance, more than 50 students have been trained as mediators. They help nudge simmering conflicts into the open. They listen as both sides talk out their disputes.

Another resource exists: The stories inside each of us. Who out there wasn’t a bully at one time, or the victim of a bully? Or who didn’t witness, silently, a child singled out for humiliation on the playground? We are asking you to write your stories and send them to us, with suggestions. If you were a bully, tell us what worked to stop you or why you did it. If you were a victim, tell us how you lived through it and what adults, if any, helped the most.

Write to Bully Stories, The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615. Or send e-mail to Rebeccan@spokesman.com. We will print some of the stories and share them with schools that want to use them to begin discussions of bullying.

Perhaps the stories will help young people balk at bullying the way Elaine finally balks at Cordelia’s manipulations.

“I turn and walk away from her. It’s like stepping off a cliff, believing the air will hold you up. And it does. I see that I don’t have to do what she says. I can do what I like. … Nothing binds me. I am free.”

, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Rebecca Nappi/For the editorial board