Seeing Clean Power Gesture Or Annoying Task, The Never-Ending Cleaning Unites Glasses Wearers Worldwide

Sometimes it seems that modern life is defined by upheaval.

Unexpected events transform careers and blind-side relationships. The thing you counted on yesterday might not be there tomorrow.

Predictions miss. Plans evaporate.

But one thing never changes.

People who wear glasses have to clean them.

Over and over.

It’s not a task computers are going to appropriate any time soon.

And this quiet, unassuming activity is the basis for the world’s biggest low-key brotherhood/sisterhood.

Call it a not-so-secret society, if you wish. But the bespectacled don’t have a special handshake or a hidden agenda. We just wonder how come there’s so much invisible grease floating around in the air.

Why aren’t some of those conspiracy-behind-every-tree nuts looking into that?

No matter. You read it here. Cleaning your glasses is the chore that builds character.

If you have perfect vision, you wouldn’t understand. It’s a nearsighted thing.

Say it loud. Say it proud. “Four Eyes Forever.”

In our face, baby!

Teeth brushing? Shoe shining? Geddoudahere. That’s just boring personal maintenance.

Cleaning your glasses is like overthrowing the oppression of fuzz and obfuscation and reopening a window on the world.

This isn’t the labor of the meek and mousy. We’re talking about people willingly and repeatedly taking steps to ensure that they can look reality squarely in the eye.

And reality, minus all the lint, can be pretty scary.

Sure, glasses-cleaning frequency varies. Some meticulous sorts do it multiple times a day. Others, the hygiene-impaired, wait till the vision thing has almost become impossible.

In addition, different people use different tactical approaches. One person might prefer using a wet paper towel in the kitchen. Another could opt for whipping out a soft handkerchief and doing it right there at the office.

But there’s a common bond. For the legions of glasses wearers, cleaning the lenses is an act of faith. It’s a silent but eloquent expression of the belief that, once that disgusting film is wiped off, the world will offer sights worth seeing.

Ah, hope.

We’re all painfully familiar with the problems of people who wear contacts. That’s because people who opt for contacts love to complain.

But the millions who wear glasses soldier on, day after day, without whining. You don’t hear glasses-wearers go on and on about the agony of trying to see through one’s own tread-like thumbprint or the alarming threat of mystery smears. You don’t hear glasses wearers recount close encounters with inexplicable opaque blotches that make it look as if there’s a small asteroid just off to your left.

No, schooled by hours of washing, wiping and drying, people who rely on glasses acquire a certain stoicism.

Sisyphus comes to mind.

New glasses are purchased. Old pairs are discarded. But cleaning goes on forever.

Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. And glasses wearers gotta rub off smudges.

That’s the kind of perseverance that made this country great.

Of course, nothing says this cannot be accomplished with style and panache. An individual possessing the proper flair can turn this seemingly mundane task into a visible symbol of intellect and competence.

It can even be a power gesture.

Picture yourself seated in the office of someone who is leaning back in an expensive chair and casually cleaning his glasses.

Maybe he’s listening to you. Maybe he’s not. But don’t you just know that the instant he puts them back on his face he will fix you with a penetrating gaze that sees right through your little scheme to increase your department’s budget.

In modern life, cleaning glasses can be akin to tapping the holster.

On the other hand, some people become slightly nauseous at the sight of someone absent-mindedly buffing up the mossy old specs. So you never know.

One thing, however, is certain. Glasses cleaning is in a growth mode. That’s because demographic trends ensure that more and more Americans will be joining the ranks of eyeglass wearers in the near future.

Will they have what it takes to stay ahead of the relentless sludge that insidiously tries to build up on corrective lenses?

Only time will tell.

But if they are up to it, they’ll find it makes them better people.

And after about 1,000 times, it almost becomes second nature.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Staff illustration by Charles Waltmire