Forever Frugal Author Credits Herself With The Thrill Of Being Thrifty
I’m incredibly cheap.
If there’s a way to save a buck, chances are I’ve thought of it. I especially enjoy shopping at stores where everything costs a dollar. I thrive on the air of chaos and confusion that hits you when you walk through the doors. And when I walk out, I’m always proud of myself, knowing I got a really good deal.
It may seem strange to some, but I really get off on saving a few bucks. I’ll admit I’ve carried this to extremes (like the time I bought a cheap imitation cheese for my lasagna that didn’t melt), but those instances are rare.
I must have inherited the cheap gene from my parents because they’re tight with their money, too. I remember when my dad waited nearly six months for a “Cheap Is Beautiful” wall plaque to go on sale before buying it.
My attitude about money is pretty simple: If I don’t have it, I don’t spend it. Period. I don’t use credit cards, and I don’t like being in debt.
No matter how logical it may seem, this position appears to be the exception, not the norm, in a society where many charge credit cards to the max, hoping to buy everything from love and loyalty to inner happiness.
Cheap isn’t necessarily seen as beautiful by everyone - especially out on the dating scene where I’ve been criticized, ridiculed and even dumped because of my attitudes about spending and money.
Many men I’ve met spend way beyond their means and then complain about not having money. And, when they spend too much, it can make me feel pressured to do the same. It looks good to spend lots of money when you’re on a date with a group of friends. It helps you fit in.
For a long time, being accepted was more important to me than a budget - and as a result, I found myself involved with big-spending men who were more concerned about their own images and money than they were about me. After bouncing a few checks in college, I started to re-evaluate things. But the real turning point in my life came after college, when I started paying my own bills and suddenly realized how much money Mom and Dad had saved to give me my education.
I began to appreciate people who saved their money. And now, at age 31, I realize that accepting myself and my own attitudes about money are more important than impressing others.
It’s too bad I didn’t recognize that when I was younger. During that time, I dated a guy who refused to walk out of a restaurant with me because I had requested a doggy bag. He said taking leftovers made us look cheap.
Another date was insulted and annoyed when I offered to let him use my two-for-one coupon for our dinner out. He told me he hated people who were cheap. I guess that included me, because our relationship ended shortly thereafter.
The rules surrounding relationships and money seem to change as we age. Frugality is the norm in college, where Saturday nights are often spent in the dorm creating culinary sensations with Top Ramen.
But, as the years pass, I’ve noticed more of a stigma attached to being cheap. Saving money has become a choice, not a necessity. At times, I’ve been made to feel like I haven’t “made it,” because I haven’t “spent it.”
Sure, some men are appreciative of my conservative lifestyle, but others have made it abundantly clear that I’m not successful or good enough for them. Like the guy who delighted in telling me how much money his previous girlfriend had spent on him. Or the one who walked into my modest apartment and said, “Oh well, it’s just a place to sleep.”
Interestingly, the men who seem to get the most annoyed about my penny-pinching ways are generally the same ones who complain about women using them for their money. So, as a result, I’ve adopted a direct philosophy in regards to relationships and money: If I don’t spend it on you, I certainly don’t expect you to spend it on me.
Now my relationships are healthier. Once I acknowledged my own conservative perspectives on money and spending, it was easier for me to accept those qualities in others. I stopped looking for flash and extravagance in the men I dated. What a man is made of has become more important to me than what he makes.
Being tight with my money has also changed the indifferent attitude I once had toward people struggling to make ends meet. I understand their frustrations because I’ve faced them myself. Doing with less has helped me appreciate more.
I guess my dad was right: Cheap really is beautiful.
MEMO: Cynthia Prentiss is a viewer development producer for KHQ-TV.