The Slice Best Intentions Turn Topsy When Interpreted By Kids

Thu., Jan. 25, 1996

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Hoping it would teach her 6-yearold son a lesson or two, Micah Burland’s mom read him the newspaper story about the sixth-grade boy who got his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole after his girlfriend dared him.

And what did Micah learn from this? “Not to trust girls,” he said.

Best hospital cafeteria: Kootenai Medical Center edged Holy Family Hospital in voting that saw those two receive most of the approximately 90 enthusiastic nominations received here at Slice Headquarters.

Both were praised for having terrific food, great service and reasonable prices. “Gone are the days of the food resembling the stainless steel from which it is served,” said Sue Durham, in her fax touting KMC’s cafeteria.

“The chef and the staff make all the difference,” said Alan Hill, who cast his vote for Holy Family.

Other institutions receiving multiple nominations included Sacred Heart, Valley Hospital and Medical Center, Shriners Hospital, Fairchild Air Force Base Hospital, St. Mary Medical Center in Walla Walla, St. Joseph’s Regional Medical Center is Lewiston and Gritman Medical Center in Moscow.

Deceptive advertising: “Why do Spokane television stations during their prime-time ‘news updates’ insist on pretending that every news story happens in Spokane?” wrote Garry Matlow. “Do they think we won’t watch the 11 o’clock news if we know that horrible fire or bus-truck collision took place in Chicago and not the Inland Northwest? Why can’t they say, ‘Two die in Chicago apartment fire’ instead of ‘Two die in apartment fire, details at 11.”’

Try your patience: Several weeks ago, we listed the Magic Lantern Theatre among the places people in wheelchairs ranked as being most irritatingly inaccessible. But we neglected to point out one important fact. That is, the ability to climb those stairs is no guarantee that you actually will be able to see a movie. Which leads to today’s warm-up question: Who holds the record for most trips to the Magic Lantern that ended in a refund because the projector wouldn’t work, the sound system was kaput, et cetera?

Today’s Slice question: When seen from an airliner, does Spokane look bigger or smaller than it really is?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

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