Feeling At Home As Single Parent
John Farley says he was convinced a woman’s place was in the home, “barefooted and pregnant.” He didn’t understand his wife’s ravenous hunger for adult conversation or her need to escape from the five children demanding her attention.
Until she left him to raise the kids on his own.
“I assume full responsibility for the failure of our marriage,” he says, contrite after his three-year struggle as a single parent. “But it’s been tough.”
He kept his jobs, first as a milkman then as an ice cream delivery man. But $400-a-month child care costs pushed the former U.S. Marine into the poorhouse. And he says his ex-wife sent no help.
Last fall, he took a leave of absence from the job, moved his family in with his niece and grudgingly turned to the welfare system for help. Finding a house was at the top of his priority list.
His hunt for something affordable led him to Phil Colozzi, who runs the non-profit Home Preservation Program in Kootenai County.
Colozzi is given - or buys - homes ready for demolition, moves them and renovates them. Local banks lend money for the work. Local businesses donate materials.
He charges a fair-market rent to repay the loan. Tenants pay no more than 30 percent of their income in rent. The Idaho Housing Agency subsidizes the rest.
Colozzi rents to large families in need, and only people who want to gain control of their lives.
“It’s not a hand-out, it’s a helping hand,” Farley says. He moved his family 10 days ago into a newly renovated, five-bedroom home near Post Falls High. Colozzi helps him keep track of his finances.
Juggling work and day care still is a problem. He doesn’t want and can’t afford a nanny raising his children. But the provider in him begs to return to work.
So, he’s testing his older kids, ages 11 and 13, to see if they can care for his 7-year-old twins and 5-year-old son for two hours a day. Then he can work days and inch his way back to self-sufficiency.
“I need a wife,” he says with a laugh, and hugs his twin girls as they crawl onto his lap. “I don’t know how things will work out. But I know the good Lord wouldn’t have gotten us this far if he didn’t have something planned.”
Taste of grape
Hospice of North Idaho knows the best way to raise money is to relax people with wine and feed them classy food. Then, when diners are their weakest, the auction begins.
Sneaky, but effective and well worth it. Hospice helps terminally ill people stay at home with their families. Money raised means more training for the staff and volunteers.
This year’s Winter Wine Taste and Auction features wine and melt-in-your-mouth hors d’oeuvres from Greenbriar Inn, Jimmy D’s Cafe and Beverly’s among others.
And check out these auction items: a 1984 Oldsmobile Toronado, a 1983 Chevy Celebrity, trips to Seattle and San Francisco.
The fun starts at 7 p.m. Saturday at the Hayden Lake Country Club. Tickets are $55 per person. Call Hospice at 772-7994.
Sensitive guy
For all of you women who have ogled Coeur d’Alene athlete C.J. Hamilton for years, he’s more than speed and brawn poured into an 82-year-old body. He’s generous, too.
C.J. and his wife, Janice, just donated $25,000 to the North Idaho College Foundation to create a perpetual scholarship in the memory of their son, Jack, who died in 1992.
C.J. is an avid swimmer and cyclist, retired lawyer and inspiration to several younger generations.
Tough goodbyes
I cried for three days after my 17-year-old daughter left for five months to study in France 10 days ago. It’s as if she took part of my heart with her.
Tell me about your toughest goodbye. Spill out the sad story for Cynthia Taggart, “Close to Home,” 608 Northwest Blvd., Suite 200, Coeur d’Alene 83814; FAX to 765-7149; or call 765-7128.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color Photo