Stripping Away Those Inhibition

Male strippers, Swackhammer’s, Thursday night. The commercial caught me off guard. How sexist. How immature. How much?

I’d been exposed to this type of “entertainment” before. Back when I was 17, a group of us used to sneak into this place called Papa Bears in Seattle. You were supposed to be 18, but they never checked for ID. My parents would have been furious if they’d known. The danger added to my excitement.

The dancers were older than us. They seemed like celebrities. I often made it my challenge to get their attention while they were up on stage performing. Sometimes we’d drink a beer or two in the car before the show. We threw money at the dancers and acted like complete idiots. A couple of the guys asked me out. I was flattered, but never went. Eventually Papa Bears closed its doors, and I left the male stripper experience behind.

That was 14 years ago. I’m a 31-year-old college-educated professional now. I guess I shouldn’t do stuff like that anymore. But still, when I heard them talking about male strippers on the radio, I knew I had to check it out.

The guys called themselves “Body Talk.” They were a group out of Seattle. I scratched and clawed my way to a front-row table through the sell-out crowd of more than 200 women. It was a party atmosphere. A sign on stage read: “Let Our Bodies Do The Talking.” One of the dancers was adjusting lights on stage. I acted like I didn’t notice him, but it would have made my evening if he had smiled or winked at me. A group of women started chanting. “We want men.” Hormones were raging all over the place. I was proud of myself for staying so composed.

Holly and Jessica let me share their table. They were about eight years younger than me. I felt old. Jessica offered to buy me a drink, but I was already intoxicated by the mixture of perfume, smoke and loud music that filled the room. Besides, I wanted to stay in control.

The lead dancer called himself White Knight. I laughed at his sexual comments with the rest of the women, but inside I felt like an immature bimbo. I was way too old for this. He said the dancers would stop by our tables to remove money from our clothes with their teeth later in the evening. I remembered when they did that at Papa Bears. The temptation was still there. I slipped a dollar bill out of my purse, but didn’t think I’d stay long enough or have the guts to use it.

The first guy who bared it to a g-string was Tony Blade. While he gyrated on stage, my conscience began to do its own little dance. I thought about my mom. I thought about Papa Bears. I felt guilty for having been there when I was only 17.

I looked away, hoping to lose the thought, and what I observed evoked an emotion much stronger than guilt. Younger versions of myself at every table. A woman dancing on her chair, another throwing kisses at Tony. I missed that freedom. I missed being young. I wanted it back.

I jumped up and yelled at the top of my lungs. “Yeeha.” I looked like an idiot. I felt like an idiot, but I really didn’t care. Holly and Jessica looked at me like I’d lost my marbles, but I didn’t care what they thought either. The years drifted away by the minute. I eyed the dollar bill I had put under a glass on the table. I got the cutest dancer’s attention and suggestively waved it back and forth. I finally got that smile I’d been waiting for. Loverboy retrieved the money from the zipper on the front of my dress with his teeth. It was a riot.

Driving home I reflected on the evening. It wasn’t a sexual thing. I went there to feel young, rebellious and crazy again. I guess I’m still searching for that element of danger I thrived on as a teenager. I think I always will be. Psychologists would probably call it a second childhood, but I’m not out to analyze it. I just want to enjoy it.

Tomorrow morning I’ll still be 31, but on the inside I’ll feel much younger. I’ll act a little crazier. I’ll take a few more risks, and I’ll smile as I remember my night out and how it made me feel 17 again.

MEMO: Cynthia Prentiss is a viewer development producer for KHQ-TV.