To Some, Reel Reflections Just Don’t Mirror Real Life

We never get tired of reading about celebrities bemoaning their looks. Hey, why should they have fame, fortune and inner peace?

“I have these big piano-playing hands,” Sandra Bullock told Cosmopolitan magazine. “I feel like I should be picking potatoes.”

Tom Hanks, winner of two Oscars, is critical of his face: “I’ve got a goofy-looking nose, ears that hang down.”

As for Kirstie Alley, nothing short of a complete makeover will do. “All I ever wanted to be was blond, blue-eyed, short and big-breasted,” she said. “My prayers were obviously not answered.”

And Hugh Grant said that when he volunteered to do a nude scene in “Sirens,” the director took a look at Grant au naturel and said, “Perhaps, we’ll do it in clothes after all.”

Loose talk

Mel Gibson on turning 40 (in USA Today): “It didn’t feel much different. I’m not sending my assistant out for Depends yet.”

To some post-adolescent minds, she remains ageless

Barbi Benton turns 46 today.

Meanwhile, Dad’s got a great seat for the game

Astronaut Dick Scobee was on the Space Shuttle Challenger when it went down in pieces 10 years ago. Today, during the national anthem before the Super Bowl, his son, Air Force Capt. Rich Scobee, will fly one of the four F-16s that will buzz the stadium. “I have a feeling my dad would be very happy to know I am doing this,” Scobee said.

Oh for the days when they simply beheaded such cads

Here’s a bit of juicy Brit-royal gossip: Scottish clergyman Douglas Lister says that before being crowned, Queen Elizabeth II had a romance with Earl Spencer, the father of Princess Diana. The 75-year-old Lister said Thursday that he was coming forward now “because I think it’s tragic how, like her dad, Diana has become a victim of the palace.” Spencer, who served as Elizabeth’s aide from 1952 to 1954, died in 1992.

Next up: Hey, let’s hear it for Vietnam vets!

She may be wearing fur with pride, but Jane Fonda hasn’t totally sold out. Her latest cause is teen pregnancy. Fonda, 58, convinced husband Ted Turner’s Turner Foundation to donate an estimated $500,000 to the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention.

Question: Do they make bungee cords industrial strength?

Anna Nicole Smith is planning a comeback. She plans to be host of “EdenQuest,” a syndicated one-hour TV special that features swimsuit models boogying in the Bahamas. Not only that, but Smith, a former Playboy Playmate of the Year and Guess? jeans model, will also bungee jump for the cameras.

She wears jeans that double as a pool-cue cover

Speaking of hefty model Anna Nicole Smith, those Guess? folks are pulling a switcheroo. Whereas Smith used to be their image, they’ve now hired stickball-thin movie star Juliette Lewis.

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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster