Fan In Pickup Plants Wet One On Sen. Craig

Larry Craig’s a proper kind of U.S. senator. So, after he parked outside the S-R building before an interview last week, he grabbed his jacket - though temperatures were in the mid-80s. As he did, he glanced with an approving eye at the spiffy, red three-quarter-ton pickup in the next spot. Chrome tool box. Red construction helmet on the front seat. Craig then proceeded to put on his jacket, unaware of the huge Labrador in the pickup bed - until he felt its wet muzzle against his left cheek. Surprisingly, the senator didn’t need a change of clothes afterward.

Illicit sweets

A child shall lead you - astray. How’d I know that the red-and-white mint the charming Huckleberry Pupette slipped into my hand at the American Heroes Parade Thursday was contraband? I popped the sweet into my mouth not realizing it was connected with the stage-right exit of The Gutter Guys entry moments earlier at Sixth & Sherman. Seems the gutterites had gotten the boot for ignoring repeated warnings from parade officials not to give out candy. Organizers were afraid kids would be trampled in the scramble for treats. Ere they drove out of sight, the guttermen scrambled along the sidewalk tossing their forbidden sweets. The Spirit of ‘76 lives on.

Out damn Democrats As expected, Kootenai County Democrats exercised their First Amendment right to distribute material - alas, no candy - along the parade route (though the aforementioned planners didn’t want them to do so). And most in my part of the crowd exercised their constitutional right to refuse the propaganda. … Karl Thompson, a Kootenai County Democratic sheriff wannabe and the only pol to march by himself, got thumbs up everywhere with a sign that said “lawsuit” along with the international slash symbol for “no.” The D’s, huddled en masse near the end of the parade, had threatened to sue if they couldn’t hand out leaflets. … Meanwhile, the parade got three thumbs up from the Oliveria Four. (Junior was unimpressed - as all 16-year-olds are.) I thought it was the best ever. More floats. Fewer dull entries. And, best of all, crowd favorite Perfection-Nots performed a drill in front of us.

Huckleberries

A full bladder overcame modesty Thursday night as a woman bolted from the long line outside her bathroom into the men’s privy at The Coeur d’Alene Resort. Everyone but the unabashed blonde covered up quickly. Luckily, she didn’t start a trend. … Yes, that was Maxine Lynch of Post Falls, wife of Pastor Dan, dealing cards near the bar in a Wallace saloon recently. And I’ll bet she’ll say she was killing time between takes of “Dante’s Peak.” Sure. Sure. … The movie extras in the Silver Valley are amused that actress Linda Hamilton plays the town’s “Mayor Wanda.” (Say it quickly.) The long waits between takes are making them silly . … Now, I hear that attack flagger at Highway 200 and Kootenai was a she with wraparound sunglasses, not a he. So reports Betsy Roberts of Hope, who said she wouldn’t have called the cops if other shoppers in line at Sandpoint’s Safeway hadn’t experienced the same close encounter with Ms. Attitude. … The readerboard message on the Coeur d’Alene fire station Thursday needed a qualifier: “Fireworks require adult supervision.” How about “responsible” adult supervision. Many of the biguns aren’t.

Parting shot

So, you think a ‘90s hydroplane crowd wouldn’t be as wild as the ones that plagued the Lake City in the ‘60s? Think again. You should have been at City Park Thursday night. Punks, in all sizes and colors, were throwing punches everywhere until the cavalry arrived. I almost ended up at ground zero of a shoving match involving about 60 louts - near the large family crowd enjoying the “Fabulous Shadows” (who still are good enough for an encore). All had chips on their shoulders the size of ponderosas. Hydroplane races (and young drunks) on Labor Day? No thanks.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; E-mail: DaveO@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review