Not Even The Phantom Can Rescue This Movie

Even a dog of a movie may have an occasional bark. Not “The Phantom,” which manages only a yip - the castrato sing-song of Treat Williams’ villain.

After a false-etto start, William’s boyish baddie becomes rather enjoyable by default midway through the movie. At least he knows his own mind, at least he has a kind of style. Neither virtue is shared by “The Phantom,” based on the comic strip hero in the purple tights. The movie can’t decide how to become whatever it is supposed to be.

The movie sets out to duplicate the look and sock-‘em zest of the 1930s serials for kids of all ages. The look is more or less there. But should an homage of sorts aim for nostalgia or irony? The aptly named director, Simon Wincer, isn’t sure. The result is a wash. The only irony is that beneath the manic action lies inertia.

As his fans know, The Phantom lives on the remote island of Bengalla. Four centuries before, the original Phantom saw his daddy killed by pirates. Rescued by tribesmen, the lad grew up the sworn enemy of “piracy, greed and cruelty,” whether they fester in the jungles of Bengalla or the boroughs of New York.

There have been many Phantoms. Each has taken on the mantle - er, the tights - of his father. When one dies, another carries on, so the natives call him “The Ghost Who Walks.”

“The Phantom’s” plot is inoffensive silliness. The year: 1938. The setting: Bengalla and Manhattan. Those in the know, including The Phantom, are searching for three skulls made of precious metals. When brought together, the skulls would produce a Los Alamos-like fission of enormous energy.

Seeking that power is the evil Xander Drax (Williams), a Howard Hughes-like tycoon. Gutsy, good girl heiress Diana Palmer (Kristy Swanson) is also in the hunt. Naturally, the film has chases, escapes and stylized violence galore, but nary a nosebleed.

The Phantom is played athletically by Billy Zane. The comic strip Phantom is rather stoic. Zane is a bit of a card, but no ace. The movie’s only memorable line comes from a Brit sahib: “That man has been chewing on the wrong sort of jungle growth.”

Granted, irony and camp are grossly abused post-modern devices - smirks are for jerks - and it’s debatable whether their application here would have been anything more than annoying. But a little genuine humor would have been welcome.

In the end, “The Phantom” isn’t a send-up of the serials. It’s a soup-up of the serials. A re-creation. And all the special effects in Bengalla won’t keep Paramount from choking on this bowl of bland flakes.

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: “The Phantom” Locations: East Sprague, North Division and Showboat cinemas Credits: Directed by Simon Wincer, starring Billy Zane, Treat Williams, Kristy Swanson Running time: 1:50 Rating: PG