Raging Bull Leaves Driver Feeling Cowed

Kootenai County has a longhorn bull as mad as any of those British cows. Seems the longhorn was scheduled to become tenderloin about a week ago but somehow dodged its owner’s bullet. The ton of hamburger ran off, only to be sighted up close and personal that night by Pat McMullan of Spirit Lake - on state Highway 41. Pat crashed into it with his spanking-new Dodge pickup. The bull merely shrugged off its second scrape with death that day and plunged into the woods. It hasn’t been seen since. Be careful out there.

Porkers in arms

A female colleague gently explained why men never will get mad-cow disease. Shouted she: “Because all men are pigs.” Oink. Onward. … Ron Rankin notes the horse that bucked off KCSO Sheriff Pierce Clegg Wednesday was a gelding. Says Ron: “No wonder it was mad.” … Pierce probably should choose a different ballcap to take to crime scenes. That auctioneer’s cap he wore to investigate a Hauser Lake murder June 2 showed up too well on a Spokane newscast. So complains one bloodhound. … ISP Cpl. Jonelle Hessler dropped a year-old traffic ticket against Gary Meissner - after the Falls City, Wash., man was injured seriously in a train-car accident in Bonner County Sunday. Meissner was here for his court appearance. Says Cpl. Hessler: “It was the least I could do.” Way to go.

A failure to communicate

If you can figure out the “thrust” of the long-range plan for Post Falls schools as explained in a district newsletter, you speak bureaucratese better than I: “continuous quality improvement in individual employee job performance, as well as the educational program in each school and total district management and operation.” A whole article was like that.

Idaho’s Gov. Calvin Coolidge

A lengthy state Land Board meeting was dragging on, reports Our Woman In Boise, when state Controller J.D. Williams began this exchange with Brent Dunn of the Landowners & Sportsmen United: “A fella named Dunn called me.” Dunn: “That was me.” J.D.: “Oh, you’re Dunn.” Gov. Phil Batt (acidly): “Not done yet.” … Hizzoner, colorful ex-Mayor-for-Life Ray Stone, has been a private citizen for more than two years; yet I mention him in this space more than his successor, Mayor Al Whatzisname III. Seven times to four since summer 1994. I really need to get on with life. … Mary Jane Garcia of Priest River was pictured in Bonner County Daily Flee May 31 with her prize catch - a “1516 lb. 6 oz” rainbow. Only it seemed quite a bit smaller.

Huckleberries

District Court Magistrate John Luster was unflustered last week when two pigeons invaded his courtroom for an hour, cooing and flapping at inopportune times. His instruction to litigants, lawyers and onlookers? “Just think of it as a day in the park.” … At the end of a long Saturday, June 1, the two Ramsey Road transfer station employees womaning the scales were all smiles. The worker in the exit lane was hoping to top 900 daily visits as the station did during the Memorial Day weekend. I was No. 875. The rest of the Kootenai County crew was just as professional and courteous. Sa-a-a-alute. … By the way, you now can communicate with H. Hound through cyberspace. Internet address: “DaveO@spokesman.com.” Be gentle. It’s Monday. … A Post Falls bloodhound noticed that the Kootenai County home page began its “Vision Statement” - by misspelling “Kootenai.” Some vision.

Parting shot

If you’re in the mood, Idaho’s U.S. District and Bankruptcy Courts ask you to fill out a “How Are We Doing?” form. You know, like those at restaurants. Questions include: “Was the location of your hearing easy to find?” “Did court begin on time?” “Were the acoustics in the courtroom adequate?” But nowhere on the form was the most pertinent question: “How’d you feel when we took your last shirt?”

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; e-mail: DaveO@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review