The Slice Payback For Petitioners

Tue., June 11, 1996

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

There’s no need to name names.

But we know you’re out there…people who have falsely denied that they are registered voters in order to dodge a signature-seeker wielding a petition.

Graduation address: “I can do it,” wrote Cooper Elementary’s Nancy Vick. “For many years I have had my third-grade students head their papers with those four magic words.”

Three things Spokane has in common with Libby, Montana: 1. Both are near North Idaho. 2. Both have a river. 3. Both are home to hair salons called Curl Up & Dye.

Ken Martin’s idea for a locally produced TV game show: Hosted by Randy Shaw or someone of that ilk, it would be called “Don’t Feed Me That” and would involve trying to guess when contestants were lying.

Or maybe keep that name but make it a full-contact cooking show.

Sense of place: What makes the little town where you live special?

What the father of psychoanalysis would say about Inland Northwest men and their truck tires: “I believe Freud would be sent to the snuff box attempting to resolve the puzzle of whether it has to do with an inflated sense of self or overcompensation for doubts about sexual adequacy,” wrote Jerry Dormaier.

Least favorite local TV commercials: Among those mentioned by multiple readers were ads for lots of different auto dealers (the talking Lincoln-head spot came in for particular abuse), Temple Kung Fu, Huppins, promos for Spokane TV news shows and “any with a jingle.” But even though they’re not locally produced, the most thumbs-down votes went to the intelligence-insulting commercials for The Money Store.

Slice answer: A reader in Latah said that if people in Spokane grew wheat instead of grass on their lawns they’d soon discover the joys of having gun-toting strangers tramp around on their property, hunting game birds without permission.

Warm-up question: Does anyone still get embarrassed about buying condoms?

Today’s Slice question: Where have you unexpectedly encountered someone smoking pot?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. We can’t get enough of that cat called Cougar appearing on those T-Touch commercials.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. We can’t get enough of that cat called Cougar appearing on those T-Touch commercials.

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