Fuhrman Puts Idaho On Map

Coeur d’Alene’s Steve LaTourrette had a hard time recently understanding a New York cabby’s broken English. And a harder time yet explaining where he lived. The taxi driver didn’t know Idaho from Iowa. So, Steve told him it was near Spokane. “Spokane?” responded the cabman. “Where’s that?” Finally, Steve struck gold with a different approach: “It’s 45 miles south of Mark Fuhrman.” “Oh yeah,” said the driver, “now I know where you’re from. How’s he doing anyway?”

The eternal pile?

Do you suppose that slash pile and battered chain-link fence along the Northwest Boulevard off-ramp is a perpetual memorial to the mid-December windstorm? … My bloodhounds spotted this slogan on an A-1 Septic Service pickup at Appleway and Ramsey Friday: “We’re Number One in the Number Two Business.” … Seems Brand X, the Coeur d’Alene Press, has a new marketing tool: a sponge emblazoned with the words, “Expanded Local News.” The sponge is a fitting symbol of our competitor’s coverage - dry, stiff, with a million holes in it. … After a six-hour drive to Bozeman, Mont., S-R sports scribe Greg Lee spent 10 minutes enjoying the ambience of the Big Sky Basketball Tournament before realizing something was terribly wrong. Everyone was looking at him. An unzipped fly will do that every time. … You know a legislator has been in Boise too long when he tells the Huckleberry Hound: “We will sine die tomorrow.” Why don’t you just say adjourn, Mr. Crow?

That ain’t kosher

A persnickety customer didn’t like the offerings at the new Safeway’s lunch counter, The Chinese Express. First, he wrinkled his nose at the chicken chow mein, fried rice and vegetable dishes. Then, he left to pay for two packages - of raw pig’s feet. … Twofer: Sharon Crawford sends along this item about a bumpersnicker from a Boulder (Colo.) Sunday Camera bits column: “Go back to California and Take a Texan With You.” … Idaho Gov. Phil Batt, who almost singlehandedly ended the farm worker’s comp exemption, can think on his seat. So says Our Woman In Boise. When his plastic chair collapsed at a Land Board meeting Tuesday, the Ol’ Onion Farmer yelled out, “Worker’s comp!”

Sightems & slogans

Clever slogan on a Northwest Boulevard billboard claims Henry Weinhard’s is the beer of the ‘90s - two centuries in a row. … Sightem: A real live Humvee on Sherman Avenue Tuesday had the vanity plate, “IDAHOE.” Do you suppose ex-veep Dan Quayle was in town? … It was nice to see local jailbirds sweeping gravel and debris along U.S. 95 Wednesday. Usually, they create messes rather than clean them up. … A customer was so upset when a Sherman Avenue counter clerk interrupted her order to wait on the guy behind her that she walked out. Then, she used her car phone to contact the manager who defended his clerk and ultimately told the customer she had a bad attitude. Now, I’m not going to finger the business. But Ms. Rudely Interrupted had tried to order a “Heathcliff.”

Huckleberries

Bumpersnicker on a white Ford Festiva with Kootenai plates Friday: “It’ll be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the Navy has to have a bake sale to buy battleships.” … Gotcha: Do you suppose that U.S. Forest Service employee lead-footing it along I-90 near Cataldo Thursday knows the new speed limits don’t kick in until May? … A couple of guys with fuzz for brains were handing out Nazi literature and looking around for media attention in Sandpoint March 10. Everyone else knew the Fuhrman deposition had been canceled. See what happens when Johnny can’t read? He becomes a skinhead.

Parting shot

Careywood fire volunteers didn’t respond fast enough to the blaze that leveled the Stop-N-Eat Bar/ Restaurant next door. But they reacted quickly, with paint brushes in hand, when someone sprayed this message on their door: “Your Tax Dollars at Work.” , DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125.; Fax: (208) 765-7149.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review