There Is Hope, Affirmation Here

Thu., March 21, 1996

Nancy Huseby Bloom The Spokesma

Dear Nancy: I am a married homemaker in my 50s. For nearly 30 years I have been in therapy and in and out of institutions trying to find the “magic pill” that would cure the anxiety and overwhelming self-pity which have pervaded my entire life. Among my many dreams of terrible fears, being raped and being in prison, there came this dream. It was so different. - Jannelle

I see the “man of my dreams.” He is young with dark, curly hair and gentle, deep brown eyes. He kisses me lovingly and I respond in kind. In the background is a former therapist of mine and I am married to him. I know I will leave him because it’s time to be with my dream lover. I know deep within myself that I am healthy and will go on with my life as a whole person.

Dear Jannelle: What an uplifting dream! It shows the results of your commitment and work on yourself over the years.

Finding our “true love” in a dream often depicts the integration of the male and female aspects of ourselves. This is the fundamental goal of all inner work.

To kiss an unknown but beloved person in a dream is always a kiss of life. The kiss symbolizes the coming together of what has been separate.

Your therapist-husband is in the background. The dream suggests that you will leave him to be with your newfound, integrated self. Perhaps as this integration takes place you will find less need for therapy.

You have had a hard road to travel, Jannelle, but I believe this dream came to assure you that healing is taking place on inner levels and that you are moving into a place of wholeness.

Tips for readers: Meeting your “shadow” in a dream may leave you feeling embarrassed, awkward and defensive. A “shadow” may show itself as rage, greed, jealousy or resentment, or something more positive such as a talent or strength that is hidden. It shows a side of us that we normally hide, even from ourselves.

We spend much of our lives attempting to become “good” people, to be socially acceptable. In this attempt, many times we push our “dark side” into our unconscious where it eventually erupts either in our waking or dream life. It is a humbling experience to see these images and feelings as parts of ourselves, but it is also incredibly valuable as a tool for inner knowledge and growth.

These shadow parts of ourselves need to be embraced and brought into the light of acknowledgment and acceptance. We can then deal with them through asking the appropriate questions, such as: “Why do I feel this way? What incident triggered these feelings? How can I best accept, resolve and attend to these newly discovered parts of myself?”

“Embracing the shadow” doesn’t mean to let it take control of our lives; to allow that would create havoc. Instead, it implies that through complete self-acceptance, we can have a more authentic relationship with ourselves and others.

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

xxxx

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