Let That Couple In On The Fun

Dear Miss Manners: On a trip, I stopped to have lunch at a famous rooftop restaurant and saw a sign indicating that I was half an hour too late. But I saw people waiting for the elevator and thought what the heck, I’d just go to the top, look at the view, and then find another place to eat.

When the elevator opened at the restaurant, it was full of people dining and I approached a lady whom I took to be the hostess and asked, “Are you still serving lunch?”

“Oh, yes,” she replied, “just go over to the buffet line.”

I did that, and was served a wonderful plate of roast beef, stuffed mushrooms, etc. There was no cash register at the end of the line, so I thought that a waitress must serve you coffee at your table and present you with a check.

But as I turned away from the buffet line, what did I see? A bride, a groom, a wedding cake, a bridal party! Innocently enough, I’d gone and crashed a wedding reception!

What does one do?

Here I am holding a plate of food. Do I go back to the buffet and say I made a mistake, try to put the food back - thus disrupting the activities and embarrassing myself and possibly others? Or do I go to a table and eat the food as unobtrusively as I can? I chose the latter course.

When a couple at the next table greeted me, I explained that I had just arrived from out of town and that was why I looked so scruffy.

The young man said, “Oh, no, you look wonderful. Glad you could make it!”

Needless to say, at the first opportunity I quietly sauntered over to the elevator and beat a hasty retreat before my (unintentional) deception was discovered.

I can’t help but wonder what Miss Manners would have done.

Gentle Reader: Never mind that. Miss Manners might have been just as convinced that deserting the plate would have been more conspicuous than eating - and just as hungry from the road.

Here’s what Miss Manners would do right now, if she were you: Write the restaurant asking for the name and address of the bridal couple. Send them a letter explaining what happened, as charmingly as you have done here, but adding that you were nevertheless delighted to see such a radiant couple and you wish them great happiness.

She might even throw in a small wedding present. But the amusement value of the letter alone makes a charmingly quirky addition to the couple’s wedding stories.

Dear Miss Manners: Although I had remained close with a boy in my class throughout grade school, we made the mistake of trying to further our friendship, therefore parting on sour terms. When writing out the invitations for a reunion, should I write a personal note asking him to put aside our harsh feelings? I should mention that I would like to try to become more than friends once again, even though it was not a good decision the first time.

Gentle Reader: Next to declaring that nobody has changed a bit, the chief activity of reunions consists of confessing old crushes. It gives spice to the general nostalgia, whether or not there is any interest in a future.

Yours is not exactly in the category of “I’ve always wanted to tell you that I spent all of eighth grade thinking about you,” but Miss Manners finds it nevertheless an appropriate reunion sentiment.

Admonishing the gentleman in advance not to hold a grudge is not going to advance your case. Miss Manners would suggest a more gracious and ambiguous, “I’m so much looking forward to seeing you again.”

xxxx

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Judith Martin United Features Syndicate