Howard Has His Own Version Of Virtual Reality

Over the course of his career, Howard Stern has been called a lot of things, but “virtuous” is not usually among them.

So where exactly does the radio shock jock get off saying that he’s “the most virtuous person in America” in the latest issue of John F. Kennedy Jr.’s magazine, George?

“My language is crude, but my behavior is proper,” Stern explains.

“What about all the people who are considered virtuous? Mickey Mantle? He was a big, drunken bum. Jonas Salk? The biggest (jerk) around.”

Now, wait just a minute, here. What about someone like, say, the Dalai Lama?

“I’ll never pray to a guy who’s not from America,” Stern says. “God is an American.”

Loose talk

Jamie Lee Curtis, on her musical influences (in Movieline magazine): “Songs that changed my life would be more like ‘The Partridge Family’ theme song or the Archies’ ‘Sugar, Sugar,’ which, whether I like it or not, is the song of my generation, right alongside ‘Build Me Up, Buttercup.”’

All together now: “You’ve got a fast car-eer …”

Tracy Chapman turns 32 today.

It was Whitewatered down, to be precise

Stern rival Don Imus may have made fun of Bill Clinton’s philandering and Hillary Rodham Clinton’s financial doings - to their faces, no less - at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association dinner, but it could have been worse. “I actually cut them some slack,” Imus said. “This thing was so watered down I was embarrassed.”

Didn’t we hear that Shaft is a bad mouther?

Elsewhere in radioland, soul singer Isaac Hayes, of “Shaft” movie theme fame, takes over as morning disc jockey Monday on New York’s WRKS-FM.

That’s what you get for cheating your heart

Chunky country crooner Garth Brooks plans to cut down on the gravy and biscuits after a high-tech test showed early signs of coronary artery disease. “The test showed me things that … in 15 years may get me in a lot of trouble,” said the 34-year-old Brooks.

At least the experience wasn’t wasted away

So is Jimmy Buffett still upset over that January incident where Jamaican authorities mistook him and some friends on a seaplane for drug dealers and opened fire on them? Not exactly. Buffett ended up writing a song about it all, called “Jamaica Mistaka.”

Guess he spent too much time in the ego chamber

Recording legend Phil Spector says his plans to produce an album for Celine Dion fell through because of interference from her people. Sniffed Spector in Entertainment Weekly: “You don’t tell Shakespeare what plays to write, or how to write them. You don’t tell Mozart what operas to write, or how to write them. And you certainly don’t tell Phil Spector what songs to write, or how to write them; or what records to produce, or how to produce them.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino