There’s No Legal Glue For Marriage Change Society By Nature, Divorce Court Cannot Be A Place Of Healing.

It was Ronald Reagan - that liberal! - who signed no-fault divorce into California state law. The year was 1969. By 1974, 44 states had followed suit. Now, even feminists agree that America’s affair with free love and frequent divorce was bad for women, children and other living things. Dozens of states are discussing a return to fault-based divorce laws.

But was law the problem? Can a change in law be the solution?

No. The problem was cultural. It is culture that must change. If popular values once again grant marriage the reverence and support that societal survival requires, we will not need to go back to old divorce laws. Nor should we.

Under any laws, the breakup of a family involves tremendous pain. For warring couples, the degree of difficulty involved in divorce court, which actually looks like an escape, fades almost to irrelevance alongside the prospect of unending conflict.

Suppose legislatures do require once again that spouses prove each other guilty of infidelity, cruelty or other faults to get a divorce. All that will mean is more and nastier work for lawyers and courts; taxpayers, beware. And if spouses must amass evidence of each other’s wrongdoings, any hope of reconciliation will be diminished.

Divorce court airs and splits a couple’s dirty laundry. By nature, it cannot be a place of healing.

For prevention and healing, look to the professionals and institutions that convey cultural values and teach relational skills. At the same time legislatures were enacting no-fault laws, entertainment media were plunging into the glamorization of sexual irresponsibility and mainline churches were embracing ‘60s permissiveness and narcissism.

Michael J. McManus, author of the book “Marriage Savers,” contends churches have been mere “blessing machines” and “have no clue to saving marriages.” But many churches now are finding success, he says, with premarital counseling and the Retrouvaille program, which helps marriage for 85 percent of couples who enroll.

Meanwhile, many are demanding that Hollywood stop peddling anti-social lies and start respecting socially responsible behavior, such as commitment and self-discipline.

Those are promising trends. The reforms that will rescue marriage must occur outside the courthouse door.

, DataTimes MEMO: For opposing view see headline: Some bumps can smooth a marriage

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