Movies May Be Awful, But Hype Will Be Spectacular
Summer movie previews used to be fun. Nowadays, they’re more like Pentagon briefings.
A lot of talk about winners, losers, casualties, domination, control - all backed up with plenty of statistics. Who will spend the most money? Who will make the most money? A more pertinent question: Who cares?
The big “winner” last year was “Batman Returns,” a huge financial success, and incidentally one of the worst movies of the year. I think hell is a multiplex with a million screens, and “Batman Returns” plays on every one of them.
Bigger does not mean better, hype does not guarantee quality, and catty discussions about box-office returns (remember the “Waterworld” fixation?) and star salaries deflect attention from what’s important. Will any of these movies entertain us? Will any of these movies mean something to us? Questions Hollywood can never answer.
Nor does it have to in an age when studios have the ability, through clever marketing, to virtually guarantee a “hit” by virtue of a big opening weekend. Moreover, the industry has succeeded in selling (especially to the young) the idea that a big summer movie is not even a movie - it’s an event. A trendy event. You have to see “Batman Returns” just as you have to have the latest style of sneaker.
This has created a certain hubris in Hollywood. Studios believe they can sell people anything. Like the idea that this year’s summer line is fresh and original because it contains only three sequels. Only three. This creates the impression the season is jam-packed with new ideas.
Like “Flipper.” And “Mission Impossible.” And “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” And “The Nutty Professor.” And “The Adventures of Pinocchio.” And so on. New stuff? Well, it IS new by Hollywood standards. In the sense that somebody’s copyright has expired.
The season’s most highly touted blockbuster is as fresh as H.G. Wells’ “War of the Worlds,” the sci-fi yarn about a Martian invasion. Aliens attack again July 3 in “Independence Day,” an $85 million, special-effects extravaganza that will probably make twice that much.
“Twister” will benefit from being first out of the gate, and Tom Cruise will bring his fans to “Mission Impossible,” and Disney will score again with “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Is the story too dark for kids? Not likely. Disney could make a billion off an animated version of “Schindler’s List.”
Other pre-sold movie commodities are Jim Carrey’s “The Cable Guy” and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “Eraser,” and the aforementioned “The Nutty Professor,” starring Eddie Murphy. They’ll all be hits, and who knows - a few might actually be good.