Why Do You Still Want Him?

Dear Ann Landers: Computers may be the wave of the future, but I can attest to the fact that they are going to break up many marriages. Mine is already a near casualty. Mark my words, Ann, midlife and the Internet are an explosive combination.

My husband, 39, started chatting on the Internet “just for fun.” Eventually, he was on it every free minute, often until 2 or 3 a.m. In a a few months, he announced that he was leaving me. We already had been through three years of counseling, so he decided a separation would be best. He assured me that he loved me and wanted to keep our marriage together but felt he needed “more space.” He moved out.

Less than two weeks later, he decided he needed to get out of town for a while and “clear his head.” He told me he was going to visit his sister in Wisconsin, which was a lie. Instead, he drove to Maryland and spent two days with a woman he met on-line.

A month later, he met another woman on-line who lived only a half hour from our house. She turned out to be nutty as a fruitcake. This lulu telephoned several times a day and harassed me for a month. Finally, I had to file a complaint with the police to get her to stop. She told me she had been having an affair with my husband. He said that she was lying, that he had taken her out for dinner and dancing a few times and that there had been no sex.

His most recent on-line chat pal is from Georgia. She mailed him his favorite cologne, a bottle of cognac, some body lotion and her black bra. He kept insisting that nothing was going on, that he had never actually met her, and that she obviously misunderstood their relationship.

My husband and I are currently living apart, but we are in counseling, taking life one day at a time and trying to save our marriage. If you are wondering if he still chats on the Internet, the answer is yes. What do you think of our chances? - Southern Illinois Wife

Dear Wife: I think your chances are about the same as that proverbial snowball in hell - unless Romeo agrees to get off the Internet, which is unlikely. It sounds as if the man is addicted.

Another problem - he lies a lot. Are you sure you want him?

Dear Ann Landers: My daughter, 23, is very serious about a fine young man. “Belinda” is hoping the relationship will lead to marriage.

I am concerned about one thing. This young man shaves his legs. I was under the impression that only gay males and cross-dressers shave their legs. Belinda says that he shaves because he is a triathlete and that most competitive swimmers and bicyclists shave their body hair. But her boyfriend keeps his body shaved even when he doesn’t compete. Belinda says this is so she doesn’t have to feel stubble when they are intimate. She appreciates the fact that he is so considerate.

Do straight men shave their legs? Or could this young man be gay and using Belinda’s friendship as a cover? I’d appreciate your input. - Suspicious in Santa Clarita, Calif.

Dear Santa Clarita: Many male athletes, especially swimmers, shave their body hair, including their heads. If you should discover that he wears nylon pantyhose, that would be a legitimate cause for concern. Otherwise, not to worry.

xxxx