Making Love Last Takes Commitment And Caring

Sun., Nov. 3, 1996

By Rebecca Nappi rebeccan@spokesman.com (509) 459-5496

A press release came across our desk touting a new book, “The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts,” by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee. We haven’t read the book so we don’t know how helpful it is, but we did like its excerpted nine “tasks of a good marriage.”

We’re listing them here, and we’d invite any “tasks” you might add:

1) Separation: Remove yourself emotionally from your childhood family. 2) Togetherness: Create both intimacy and autonomy. 3) Privacy: Don’t sacrifice privacy to parenthood. Protect it. 4) Staying power: Strengthen your bond during tough times. Don’t let adversity pull you apart. 5) Safe haven: Conflict and anger are inevitable. The marriage must be able to absorb them. 6) Sex: Protect your sex life from incursions of work and family. 7) Laughter: Use humor to keep things in perspective. 8) Comfort: Satisfy the need for dependency by continually encouraging each other. 9) Memory: As time wears on, don’t forget those early romantic days when you fell in love.

Attention women vets: The Veterans Outreach Center, 1708 W. Mission, is once again hosting an open house in recognition and appreciation of women who served in the military. Veterans, and those who love them, are invited to participate in the fourth annual “Women Veterans Recognition Day.” It will be held Friday and you can drop in anytime between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. There will be food, drink and great conversation. For information, call 327-0274.

Good cause: Project Linus is a national effort to provide handmade blankets and quilts to children in difficult situations, such as in hospitals or shelters. A Spokane chapter has been formed. Donated blankets can be any size, as long as they’re soft and washable. They can be dropped off at The Body Shop at NorthTown Mall, or, you can call and have them picked up. Call the chapter coordinator, Cricket Matthews, at 487-9329.

Feedback: Thanks to the anonymous woman who sent us an account of an incident in which seemingly rude behavior went on without intervention. She wrote: “During the intermission of ‘Damn Yankees,’ I witnessed several smokers in front of the building tossing their cigarettes on the ground and extinguishing them with their shoes. These are people who looked like they were taught manners and had probably been raised in a clean environment. So why is it OK to litter with cigarette butts? I am not anti-smoker - having smoked three packs a day for years. But I am anti-litter, anti-garbage on the ground, and anti-persons who think it’s OK to do this.”

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