Cheap Seats

And you think Nike prices here are criminal

Air Max hunting season has begun in Japan. No one has been killed yet but there have been several reported muggings over last year’s yellow-and-gray Air Max model by Nike. The shoe sells for more than $1,000 in one of the oddest black-market fashion trends since Soviets paid 100 bucks for tourists’ old Levi’s.

“Everybody wants them; I don’t know why,” said Denichi Kawasaki, manager of an AC/DC Rag Store in Tokyo that has the yellow 1995 Air Max on display for $1,345.

The robberies have come as a shock to Japan, where street crime is low and people generally don’t fear for their safety.

But remember, if the shoe doesn’t fit you must acquit.

Hey-ey-ey! It’s the Fontes

It was bizarre when Lions coach Wayne Fontes yanked quarterback Scott Mitchell, who had thrown three interceptions, in the middle of a series against the last week. Coaches almost always pull a quarterback at the end of a series.

The saga took an even stranger turn the next day when Fontes apologized.

“I have no regrets about taking him out of the game,” said Fontes. “None whatsoever. What I do regret is taking him out when I did. I’ve never blamed a player or put a finger on one player. And I realize now it might have seemed like I was doing that to Scott.”

And the punchline: Mitchell went to a Halloween party dressed as Fontes, with Mickey Mouse ears, an unlit cigar and big pillow stuffed under his sweatshirt. He playfully poked fun at Fontes, saying: “I apologize for benching my quarterback.”

At the team meeting the next day, Fontes said: “I understand I went to a Halloween party. I just want to know if I had any fun.”

More fun than Jim Mora or Dave Shula had last week.

The Rosie Ruiz of workman’s comp

A Queens man accused of faking a foot injury to collect workers compensation benefits was caught on videotape finishing 240th in the 1995 New York City Marathon.

Adolfo Zapata collected $195 a week in workers compensation benefits between Nov. 1 and Dec. 17, 1995, after claiming he injured his foot while working for a catering company in June of that year. But investigators said a videotape showed Zapata finishing among the elite runners in the Nov. 12 marathon, in a time of 2 hours, 48 minutes, 54 seconds. Zapata reportedly also ran a 5-mile race on Nov. 2 and a 10-mile run on Dec. 2.

Yeah, but he would have finished higher if not for that old catering injury.

Bye, bye love

The Troy State football team had a bye last weekend, but that didn’t stop the sports information department from putting together a scouting report.

“If you look at Open on paper, you think they don’t have anything,” the school’s weekly news release quotes coach Larry Blakeney as saying. “But they scare me to death. Their system reminds me a lot of Idle’s.”

The last word …

“I was reading in The Sporting News, it’s interesting - every time a baseball player spits on an umpire, Billy Martin’s widow gets a check for $100.”

- David Letterman

, DataTimes