Packets Help Doctors Fight Abuse Victims Of Domestic Violence May Often Get First Help From Physicians

He never actually hit her, just pinned her down, nicknamed her “wench” and threatened to find and kill her if she ever took the kids away from him.

The 30-year-old woman finally left her husband of nine years last month, slipping onto a bus with her children and a few bags. She left her small town in central Washington for the YWCA domestic violence shelter in Spokane.

To the community, the couple appeared perfect - church-going folks who home-schooled their children. No one ever sensed anything was wrong.

“I was never, ever asked,” said the woman, who didn’t want her name used because she doesn’t want her location known. “Everyone, especially in the small community I came from, assumed we had a normal, healthy relationship.”

The Washington State Medical Association is trying to make sure that somebody asks. On Tuesday, the group kicked off a program to educate family doctors, victims and potential victims about domestic violence.

About 3,000 primary-care doctors belonging to the state association have been sent packets of information showing signs of abuse and advising patients what to do in an abusive relationship. There’s a poster, a brochure and a quick reference card for patients, and an information card for doctors and staff.

All the material features the statewide domestic violence hotline number: 1-800-562-6025.

Dr. Mike Metcalf, who’s had a family practice in the Spokane Valley for 21 years, said the program’s tips have already strengthened his ability to detect domestic violence. He got the information about three weeks ago.

Metcalf, 50, wasn’t taught about domestic violence in medical school. He learned on the job.

“When I was first in practice, I remember a woman who came in and said she just killed her husband,” said Metcalf, adding that the woman had been abused and was dealing with police. “It really opened my eyes to the problem.”

He said he sees many patients showing signs of abuse. For instance, eight of the 25 patients Metcalf saw one day last week were abused.

Last month, Spokane city and county prosecutors decided to form a special team to take batterers to court and get them into treatment. About 3,500 cases were reported last year in the county, but less than 20 percent were prosecuted.

Doctors could have a more difficult task - trying to ferret out abuse in some cases before it’s necessarily reported.

Metcalf said that requires a patient’s trust. Many times, the doctor’s office is the only place abuse victims might be left alone by their batterers.

A doctor might be the only person that a victim can talk to, Metcalf said.

The 30-year-old woman at the YWCA shelter said she was constantly tracked, if not by her husband, then by her daughter at her husband’s orders.

Her daughter reported to her husband at the end of every day - how much money the woman spent, where she spent it, who she talked to on the telephone.

Since leaving, the woman’s learned that both her children were sexually abused by their father. Her daughter puts her hands over her ears when asked about the abuse, saying that she feels empty inside and that her heart is broken.

The woman said she didn’t realize her husband was abusing her. She said programs like the one from the state medical association are necessary.

“There’s got to be more understanding of domestic violence,” the woman said. “I really thought that everybody understood it. You see the ads. You watch ‘COPS.’ I’ve watched Oprah. And I just didn’t know.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Graphic: Domestic violence and murder victims