He-E-E-Re’s Johnny! Catapulting Careers

Drew Carey can barely believe it, judging from the “Who, me?” look on his face when he’s motioned couch-ward.

For a rising standup comic, it just didn’t get any better than sitting at the right hand side of Johnny Carson during his storied “Tonight Show” reign. Shine and rise.

If Johnny liked you, your career suddenly had rocket fuel.

Not everyone managed to blast off.

Bob Nelson still hasn’t, even though Johnny got a huge kick out of his punch-drunk boxer routine. But as a new home-video demonstrates, several of the show’s first-timers took “Tonight” to the bank.

“The Comedians: Good Stuff,” from the official “Johnny Carson Collection,” revisits the “Tonight” debuts of Carey, Nelson, Jerry Seinfeld, the then Roseanne Barr, Garry Shandling, Louie Anderson, Rita Rudner, Steven Wright and Victoria Jackson.

Seeing them in their raw, formative stages is interesting enough. But Johnny’s reactions are the true killer punchlines. Is he amused enough to say so publicly? Can he be heard laughing along with the studio audience? Does he at least give the comic a nonverbal high sign?

If none of these applied, you left with the awful, sinking feeling of a Super Bowl loser.

Before going to the videotape, it should be noted that times have changed significantly since Johnny went marching home after his May 22, 1992, farewell show.

His successor, Jay Leno, has said it now takes perhaps a half-dozen “Tonight” or “Late Show with David Letterman” appearances to get the same career jolt. With Johnny at the helm, “Tonight” enjoyed many years as the largely uncontested Life magazine of late-night television. Audiences are spread out while the intensely competitive shows of Leno and Letterman increasingly depend on big-name guests and pretaped sketches starring the hosts themselves. Squeezing in a new comic is becoming an almost laughable notion.

Drew Carey’s Nov. 8, 1991, “Tonight” debut came in the closing months of Johnny’s 30-year monarchy. Now the star of ABC’s increasingly hot “Drew Carey Show,” he took the stage as a bulky new guy in a thin tie and horn-rimmed glasses.

Bouncing around and snapping his fingers, Carey got a big laugh with his joke about drive-in liquor stores.

“Just the thing for that drunk driver who’s constantly on the go,” he cracked.

Imagine his elation when Johnny beckoned him over and said, “You can’t do any better than that for your first shot. No way.”

Then it got even better.

“You’re funny as hell. You really are,” Johnny told him.

“Thanks,” Carey said. “Yeah, you, too.”

Johnny laughed his famed deep-throated man’s laugh. With Jay and Dave, you get that high-pitched girlyman stuff. “Hee-hee,” goes Dave. “Tee-hee,” goes Jay. “HA-HA-HA,” went Johnny.

Garry Shandling scored big on his first “Tonight” appearance, tickling the audience with jokes such as, “Now what’s a nightmare for a dog? Didja ever think about it? He’s drinking out of the toilet and the lid falls?”

He didn’t get to the couch on March 18, 1981, but Johnny clearly dug the kid.

“That’s nice to see somebody new come out and really have some funny material,” he told viewers. “His name is Garry Shandling. You’ll hear a lot about him.”

Roseanne Barr first entered Johnny’s realm on Aug. 23, 1985.

“So I’m fat. I thought I’d point that out,” she began.

Her soon-to-be-famous “domestic goddess” routine had the audience roaring. But the sweetest music of all came from you-know-who, who said, “That’s marvelous. That’s Roseanne Barr. Funny lady.”

Jerry Seinfeld - May 6, 1981 - got his biggest laughs when he riffed on what it might be like to be the Guinness Book of World Records’ “fattest man in the world” - 1,400-pound Bob Hughes. Suppose he went on a diet and lost 200 pounds.

“If you’re a friend of his, what are you going to say to him?” Seinfeld asked. “You know, you look great now. What’re you down to - 1,200 now? You’re a rail, baby.”

Yes, Johnny was amused.

“Jerry Seinfeld. Thank you, Jerry,” he said. “Take a bow. We’ll be back in a moment.”

But before the camera cut away, Johnny sent Jerry to heaven and back by giving him “The Sign.” Raise either hand, touch the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb and leave the other fingers extended. At the same time, pucker your lips. That’s it! Jerry looked almost surreally thrilled.

Louie Anderson had ‘em in convulsions from the first moment he stepped on the “Tonight” stage on Nov. 20, 1984. Back then, the audience went nuts when rotund Louie opened by saying, “I can’t stay long. I’m in between meals.”

He had ‘em eating out of his hands by the time he dabbed at his face and joked, “Sorry, I’m sweating. But if I don’t, I’ll explode.”

The famed Johnny “HA-HA-HA” rang out audibly, rendering all other laughter superfluous. But when Louie was finished, Johnny only mustered, “Louie Anderson. We’ll be right back.” Maybe they were running long that night.

“Good Stuff” also includes the Feb. 6, 1987, comic stylings of Bob Nelson, who apparently hasn’t been heard of before or since by anyone but his relatives and close friends. Wearing boxing gloves and headgear, Nelson played Jiffy Jeff, a decidedly dense ex-boxer turned gym owner. Johnny went nuts for the guy.

Wherever he is now, they can’t take this away from Bob Nelson: “Boy, that’s funny. You won’t laugh any harder in five or six minutes than you laughed at that guy. Bob Nelson. That’s wonderful.”

And that’s show biz.