Real-Life First Wives Enjoy The Movie Box-Office Hit Strikes Right Notes For Spokane Women’s Group

The experts on Spokane’s real-life first wives left the Newport Highway Cinemas Wednesday evening humming the lyrics to “You Don’t Own Me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t tell me what to say,” they chorused like a ‘60s girl group.

Staff members from the Life Skills/ Women’s Programs at the Institute for Extended Learning descended on the 5:15 p.m. showing of “The First Wives Club.” This movie, the top box office hit in the country since its release, has earned $58.5 million in its first three weeks. Women everywhere come to revel in its “Don’t Be A Victim” message. like “Honey, you’re 46. A woman your age has a better chance of being slaughtered by a psychopath.”

“The First Wives Club” centers around three middle-aged college friends, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn, who reunite after their husbands have dumped them for younger women.

As Midler’s character explains, “At a certain age, it’s bye, bye, love, hello Pop-Tarts.”

They plot first revenge (“Operation Hell’s Fury”), then redemption.

When the movie ended, the staff members adjourned to the Red Robin for burgers and gossip.

“We were married for 20 years,” said Mary Wilkinson, a social worker for the Project Self-Sufficiency program. “He moved to the newer, sleeker model.”

“I don’t know where my ex-husband is,” said Brenda Von Brach, manager of the life skills/ women’s programs.

“I hope mine’s incarcerated somewhere,” said Janet Wunder, program secretary.

Over a teriyaki chicken burger, Wunder spilled the details of her breakup. She left a physically abusive husband after seven years of marriage.

It took getting absolutely furious - so angry that she grabbed a broom and hit him while he was passed out - to finally reach a turning point. She escaped, his beatings stopped, and she gained a new life.

“Something about anger, it purifies a lot,” Wunder said. “It’s like a big sifter. The power stays, like gold stays.”

The women traded outrageous tales about ex-husbands, like the guys who take under-the-table jobs in construction simply to avoid paying child support, that they hear from participants in their programs.

“If you did a movie about our women, you’d have to show it at The Magic Lantern,” said Jan Polek, program manager for the gender equity project.

They plotted ideas for “Don’t Get Mad, Get Everything” lapel pins and “First Wives Club” T-shirts for their next craft sale. “We could spawn a whole bunch of support groups,” said Von Brach.

They also got serious about the limitations of anger and revenge.

If a woman comes into Changepoint hating her ex-husband, it’s a sign she’s still too involved with him, Wilkinson said.

“I usually advise friends to just suck it up,” Polek said. “I say, ‘He’s a bastard. You deserve more. That’s the way it goes. It’s time to move on.”’

None of the women at the table had permanently written off the male gender. Each of them had satisfying relationships with men they loved.

Still, they also adored the movie’s anthem, “You Don’t Own Me,” a 1963 Lesley Gore hit.

The movie particularly delighted these women because the redemption it portrayed mirrored their life’s work. The characters in the movie opened a women’s crisis center, much like their programs at the Institute for Extended Learning.

Maybe not with gala champagne openings and ex-husbands solvent enough to write $250,000 donation checks, but, hey, that’s Hollywood.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo