Reunion Renewal Women Catch Up With Old Friends Over Weekend

‘Do you have a slumber-party room?” I asked when making reservations at Tatoosh Meadows, a quiet, isolated resort at the foot of Mount Rainier.

I was meeting my old college roommate. It had been 15 years since we’d had a real visit. A phone call every year or so, letters every few months, a couple of in-person visits that usually included squalling new babies: these had so far sustained our relationship.

With demands of work and family, a woman’s schedule often barely includes more than the basics. Fostering friendships is, to our regret, way down the list. But women today are looking for ways to renew and nurture long-term friendships. They are packing their bags - leaving work, spouses and kids behind - to meet their friends or female relatives for a “real” visit.

Diane and I had everything aligned for a just-the-two-of-us weekend. We took into account our penchant for dramatic locations and outdoor exercise when choosing our destination. Something halfway between Portland and Spokane. “Let’s do some hiking at Mount Rainier!”

I arrived first and tried to start a fire in our chilly suite. Perched above the Cowlitz River, our sparkling-new bungalow included a beautifully equipped kitchen, with a hide-a-bed in the living area and a queen bed and fireplace in the next room. The cozy decor included botanical prints and soothing flannel bedding.

The only thing it didn’t have was a phone. As I listened for my friend’s arrival on this very quiet Friday afternoon, I began having doubts. What if one of her kids got sick at the last minute and she didn’t show up? What if she did show up and we didn’t have anything to talk about? What were we going to do all weekend?

I still hadn’t gotten the fire started when she drove up. Hugs, squeals and exclamations.

I had suggested we bring show-and-tell for our gabfest weekend. Yes, we brought photo collections of kids and vacations, but, coincidentally, we had both included something from the long past. Diane took out a yellowed envelope containing a 1965 photograph of her father at work. He’d died when she was 15. I’d recently acquired my mother’s wedding album and I showed Diane formal posed pictures of my mother at 18 and a father I’ve not seen in 33 years.

After an evening spent with rocking chairs pulled close to the fireplace - still trying to get the fire started - we decided to make a foray into the nearby town of Packwood. We’d call home and buy some kindling. We drove the short main street, scoping out shopping possibilities for tomorrow.

The next morning, we didn’t tarry in Tatoosh Meadows, but headed for the hiking trails of the nearby national park. A hike in the Grove of the Patriarchs prompted a discussion of modern feminism and the question, “Where is the Grove of the Matriarchs?” We talked about what it means to be “mom.” We energetically reinforced each another’s conviction that women need to be more attentive to their own needs in order to provide for others.

Priscilla Gilkey, one of the planners of the annual women’s Restoration Weekend at the Coeur d’Alene Resort, agrees. She says women today need time away, to focus on relationships and on replenishing themselves.

“A weekend away allows women to play, to relax, to be pampered … and to meet their own needs instead of always focusing on the needs of others,” she says.

“In today’s world, where women are balancing so many things, they need a chance to do exactly what they want to do.”

And what we wanted to do after our hike was soak in the Tatoosh Meadows’ hot tub. And to talk, of course.

After that, we went out to eat. And talk.

We discussed the things that women want to, need to and should talk about. We asked each other: “What would you do if one of your children were to die?” We talked about religion and bathroom remodeling. We even took notes, jotting down books the other had read and the brands of skin care products that really work.

Saying goodbye the next morning wasn’t too hard, because we each had a new reading list, new ideas for motivating youngsters to finish their chores and new makeup to try.

Best of all, we knew that the bonds we’d strengthened that weekend would result in more frequent contact and future adventures.