Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Suicide Is Never The Only Answer

Ann Landers Creators Syndicate

Dear Ann Landers: I am a teacher at a junior high school. When I read a 1989 Ann Landers column about suicide to my class, it had a tremendous effect on them. The column had a letter from a teenager who decided not to commit suicide after he read an essay you had printed. I am hoping you will print both the letter and essay soon, for reasons I don’t want to go into. Thank you. - Woodland Hills, Calif.

Dear Woodland: The reasons are not important. What matters is that you believe it might help someone. Here it is:

Dear Ann Landers: I am a teenager who has been reading your column for as long as I can remember. It’s the part of the paper I grab first. There are times when I think you are square or just plain goofy, but deep down, I know you make a lot of sense and I respect what you say.

A while back, my parents split. Usually when this happens, the kids are torn up because they don’t know which parent to go with. In my case, neither my mom nor my dad wanted me.

I became depressed and decided to kill myself. Then, I read a letter in your column about teenage suicides. It changed my mind. Will you please print it again? - A Fan Forever in Boston

Dear Forever: You bet. It was originally a letter to the editor of the Arkansas Gazette. Here it is:

Every year, we lose several young people in our community to suicide. We keep hoping it will stop, but it hasn’t. Every 90 minutes, a teenager in this country commits suicide. This message is for every young person who is considering ending his or her life.

You haven’t seen much of the world that exists outside your family. Soon, you will be on your own, and then, you will understand what is important and what is not.

What you don’t know is that 15 minutes after you decided to kill yourself, you might have felt better. Or two hours later, or two days.

What you don’t know is that you are stronger than you think. You can find another girlfriend (or boyfriend), you can stand being embarrassed or shamed more than you realize. Failing in school or getting into trouble with the law may be painful, but you can get over it. You can fix it. Don’t be killing yourself over events that you may barely remember 10 years from now. What you don’t know is that there is nothing romantic or cool about killing yourself. It is a god-awful mess for your family that you can never understand until you have kids of your own.

What you don’t know is that suicide is sneaky and spiteful and filled with anger. If you are thinking about suicide, you are furious with somebody. You can be furious without killing yourself or thinking you need the punishment of death.

What you also don’t realize is that suicide is forever, and nobody, not your parents or your doctor, can fix it. You won’t be around for the funeral. And you won’t be coming back.

So get smart. Join the Marines. Go to California. Find a therapist. Lapse into sickness. Become mad as the dickens. Do your time in jail. But get off the suicide kick. It’s a dead end. - Tom Heisler, Wynne, Ark.

Dear Tom Heisler: That was a sensible piece you wrote - and in language kids can relate to. I hope somebody listens. Nothing in this world causes more grief and suffering than the suicide of a child.

Suicide is an irrational act, an immature response to disappointment, fear and anxiety. It also can be punitive. If these kids would just cool it and look ahead a week or a month, they might live to see the best days of their lives.