No One Said This Would Be Easy
A woman who resents having to deal with her boyfriend’s wife. A man who resents women, period. These are some of the people who have been writing to Tales.
Meg: “My boyfriend Dave and I have been thrown into the most confusing situation. Ever since his wife learned about me, she has been pestering me to talk! I’m now in for a big sob story about how she was pregnant when he and I first started dating, how the relationship is breaking up a family with two little boys and how she feels entitled to work things out without my presence - just because they’re still legally married.
“I am confused enough. I am afraid that once Dave and I settle down, I will be an unpaid maid and baby sitter while Dave golfs and bowls. That’s how I met him! His whole family is against us. His parents are mad and his boys don’t like me.”
Shannon: “Why is it when you are at your happiest someone tries to spoil it? When your friend has someone and you don’t, it can be very threatening. I hang out with a group of people. When one of our friends brought a girl he was dating to meet us, I liked her, but a lot of people didn’t give her a chance. They were rude to her. Now he doesn’t bring her around and is thinking of breaking up with her, just because his friends don’t like her. I can’t believe that a guy would dump a woman just because his friends don’t like her. Why is that so important? He is the one that has to spend time with her, not us. I’m curious why so many people are so concerned with what others think of their loved ones, especially guys.”
Liz: “Scott and I were dating for three years. We never used condoms because I was on birth control. One day, I was throwing out the garbage and saw a condom package. When Scott came home, I showed it to him. He told me he bought it in a gas station because he wanted to know what it looked like!”
Christine: “My boyfriend and I don’t have a lot in common, in fact, we hardly have anything in common. I have more in common with some of his friends than with him.
“Still, we have a great relationship. He is willing to try things that I am interested in, and I am willing to try things he is interested in. We’re both open-minded and accepting of each other’s interests, even if we don’t share them.”
Howard: “Nearly every woman in an unmarried relationship knows that she has little or no power and that to gain power she must induce marriage. Once she gains power through marriage, the man is vulnerable to her abusing the power, which she nearly always does. If he doesn’t like the abuse, he can demand that it stop, in which case she will leave and he will pay. Or he can leave, in which case, he still pays. Either way, he pays because in this country, the divorce laws are stacked against men.
“So to keep the power and thus reduce the risk or abuse, men must learn not to succumb to the temptation to marry, no matter how sweet or sexy the woman is or how much she pleads or threatens. If she truly loves him and if he treats her good, she will stay without marriage. If she doesn’t, he will see that her real agenda was to gain power and he will have saved himself grief and money.
“Why don’t men recognize this fundamental truth?”
Mary: “I’ve been married to a loose cannon for 43 years.
“I do not get embarrassed by what he says or does in public. I never know what he’s going to say or do, but I decided years ago that whatever it was, he would make himself look stupid, foolish, charming or whatever, not me.”