Fidelity Is Glue To Lasting Union
Dear Ann Landers: “Not Dumb in Missouri” wrote to you because her husband was having an affair. Lots of readers responded, but not one married man wrote to defend himself. I wasn’t surprised. Men don’t need to defend themselves. Women do it for them.
The women who wrote, whether married, divorced or “the other woman,” expect their men to have someone on the side. Yet none of the women was seeing other men. I’ve been all over the world and have known women everywhere who accept this type of behavior. None of them appears happy or fulfilled.
Many women say their husbands stay with them “because of the children.” A man who engages in extramarital affairs teaches his sons that this is OK behavior. A woman who stays with an unfaithful husband teaches her daughters to do the same. Children observe and sense these things at an early age.
Cheating partners do not make ideal parents. It is irresponsible to tolerate such behavior and pass this model on to your children. A good father does not cheat on his wife. He remains faithful and demonstrates to his sons what it means to be a good husband.
A good mother does not condone, nor should she tolerate, bad behavior from her husband. How can a girl grow up with self-respect if her mother has none? Women who set their standards high enhance their chances of getting what they want out of life. - Under 25 and Single in Michigan
Dear Under 25: Your letter reflects wisdom far beyond your years. Thank you for pointing out that parents who cheat on their spouses send the wrong message to their children. Too many parents foolishly believe their children are not aware - or that it doesn’t matter. Wrong, on both counts. Fidelity is the glue of any lasting relationship. Without it, the relationship falls apart. The last sentence in your letter should be the mantra for both men and women in search of a lifetime partner.
Dear Ann Landers: This is for all teenagers and young adults who smoke and say, “I can quit any time I want.” Do yourselves a favor, and quit TODAY because as you get older, it becomes harder and harder.
Cigarettes become your best friend. They are always there for you. When you’re stressed, frustrated, sad, bored or lonely, cigarettes never let you down. Ending this “friendship” will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. I know because I smoke. I’m 33 and have been smoking since I was 14. I decided to quit today after a terrible coughing spell. I know it’s going to be pure hell.
Smoking was cool when I started, but it’s not so cool anymore. Neither is spending a half hour every morning hacking away or having my clothes and hair smell of stale butts. Smell an ashtray sometime, and you will know what YOU smell like.
If you are one of those people who keeps saying, “I can quit any time I want to,” prove it by quitting today. - Just Lost My “Best Friend” and Glad of It
Dear Glad: Thanks for the encouragement.
I know it’s not nice to gloat, but allow me the privilege. I’m talking about all those cigarette defenders who sat before a 1994 congressional committee and repeated with straight faces, “Nicotine is not addictive.” Now the Liggett Group, one of the nation’s top five cigarette makers, has admitted that nicotine is indeed addictive and that smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease and emphysema. It also confessed that its sales pitches were specifically targeted at 14- to 18-year-olds. How shameful.