Kindergarten Can Make Kids Act Badly
Q. Shortly after our son started kindergarten in the fall, his teacher told us he was overly excitable. He runs, shouts, has difficulty waiting his turn and sometimes becomes aggressive toward other kids in an unintentional way.
He’s actually well-behaved at home, which is confusing. With our support, the teacher has tried several disciplinary approaches, and the guidance counselor at the school has also started working with him, but the problem doesn’t seem to be getting any better. They’ve suggested perhaps he needs professional help. What do you think?
A. Given that this is the first time problems with Billy have surfaced, this sounds to me like a simple case of a child who’s having difficulty adjusting to kindergarten.
The strategy I’m going to suggest requires but three things:
A list of the five most inappropriate behaviors Billy displays at school: running in class, shouting, and so on.
Three after-school privileges generally available to Billy which he values (going outside, watching TV, etc.).< A supply of 5-by-7 index cards, each looking as follows: Billy’s name printed at the top, the numerals 1 through 5 printed in descending order from left to right (5 4 3 2 1), and two spaces - one for the teacher’s signature, the other for the date - at the bottom. The teacher would keep these “daily report cards” in her desk. Each time he displayed one of his targeted types of misbehavior, the teacher would simply identify the misbehavior, say “That’s on your list,” and cross off the highest remaining number on that day’s card, beginning with 5.
The first two numbers on a daily report would be “free.” These constitute Billy’s “margin of error” for any given day. Each of the numerals, 3, 2 and 1 would be associated with an after-school privilege. When Billy loses one of these numbers, he loses the privileges that goes with it.
At the end of the day, the teachers signs and dates the card, makes whatever comments she feels are necessary on the flip side, and gives it to Billy to present to you when you pick him up or when he arrives home.
If the teacher enforces this system dispassionately (the first of two keys to its success), Billy will probably lose all or nearly all of his after-school privileges every day for a week or two.
If you enforce the consequences dispassionately (the second key to the program’s success), his classroom behavior should begin to show marked improvement within three weeks.
When you and the teacher see fit, No. 5 can be eliminated from the card, thus reducing Bill’s “margin of error” to but one numeral - 4. This should be all it takes for Billy to begin containing his excitement and make a better adjustment to kindergarten.