Writer-Birdwatcher Pecks Fun At Hobby

Some folks take birdwatching just a little too seriously. They form teams and train for the annual World Series of Birdwatching at Cape May, N.J.

They hop a plane at the first hint a rarely sighted bird they need for their life list might be somewhere on this continent.

Writer and avid birdwatcher Richard E. Mallery - a k a Dick E. Bird - thinks these folks ought to lighten up.

And, to help them along, the Michigan-based Mallery wrote “Birdfeeding 101: A Tongue-in-Beak Guide to Suet, Seed and Squirrelly Neighbors” (Main Street Books, $11.96). He’ll be in Spokane on Wednesday for a reading at Auntie’s Bookstore.

It’s a silly book, really, but after you read several pages, you may just find yourself flying through the text having a good time along the way.

Here’s an example from the Birdfeeding Etiquette section:

Q. Should one knock before politely asking a squirrel to leave the feeder or simply and quietly chase after it?

A. It is not appropriate to chase after any rodent that has crashed a dinner party. A rapid forceful window knock is the correct action to take. If this does not stimulate the correct response, then - and only then - is a chase in order.

Or there’s this sage advice from Dick E. Bird, er, Mallery:

Q. What is the correct way to fill a birdfeeder?

A. It really depends upon the time, place and company. The general rule for filling the birdfeeder is to use a scoop whenever possible. If no one is looking, you can just grab the seed with your hands and shove it in.

The book is an offshoot of a newsletter, Dick E. Bird News, which Mallery publishes from his home. He’s on a camping and hiking tour through the area and will stop in here long enough to discuss birdfeeding and other related topics at Auntie’s, Main and Washington. The reading begins at 7:30 p.m. and is free.

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