Suppose That He Ever Beat Around The Bush?

Sure, thrashing one another with birch twigs in the banya - similar to a sauna - is an age-old tradition in Russia.

But President Boris Yeltsin seems to be enjoying it just a little too much lately.

First, it was Finnish President Martti Ahtisaari who took his licks last month during a visit.

“I used a Russian birch switch to spank the president very well,” beamed Yeltsin, who demonstrated his form for the TV cameras.

Then he dragged Renat Akchurin, the doctor who performed bypass surgery on him in November, into a steam bath “to show him that my heart runs like a clock.”

Said a gleeful Yeltsin afterward: “I gave him a real good beating. Then he did the same to me and we did this several times. His heartbeat was faster than mine.”

Loose talk

Texas Gov. George W. Bush, on his wife’s request that he buy better formal wear (in the Texas Monthly): “Read my lips. No new tuxes.”

He dumped Debbie, but she managed to carry on

Eddie Fisher turns 69 today.

Actually, we hear that he was scared stiff

Vice President Al Gore missed out on his chance to one-up former president George Bush, who parachuted from an airplane in April. Gore was all set to make a bungee jump at California’s Squaw Valley ski resort recently, but a sudden thunderstorm washed out his plans.

Well, at least he’s certainly more flexible

The veep’s daughter, Kristin Gore, is interning this summer with San Francisco’s syndicated “TV.COM,” serving as a research assistant to Ron Reagan, the former president’s son. Parental politics are no problem, Reagan said, adding: “I’m more liberal than her father is.”

Just another Chelsea, er, cheesy TV flick

The younger Reagan spent a week in Washington, D.C., working on the TV movie “My Date With the President’s Daughter,” in which he plays the White House gatekeeper. The film, due to air this fall, stars Dabney Coleman, Jay Thomas and Elisabeth Harnois.

But Paula would probably still rebuff him

Thanks to religiously working out and dieting during his recovery from knee surgery, President Clinton is closing in on his college weight of 195 - compared to 226 when he first took office. “The guy is buffed,” an unidentified aide told Newsweek.

She laughed, then loaned it to Barney Frank

When New York Rep. Susan Molinari left Congress the other day for a TV news job, she received an unusual gift from fellow Republican Ileana Ros-Lehtinen of Florida - a handmade “Hunks of the House” calendar. Between votes, Ros-Lehtinen recalls, “Sue would look around the House and say, ‘Oooh, that would make a good Mr. January or a good Mr. July.’ So I made notes of the ones she’s been mentioning through the years and asked them for their nicest-looking photo.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino