Women’s Progress, Confidence Show Through Domestic Talk

For a while you wouldn’t catch a woman sharing household hints out in public. Real estate advice, suggestions about hair color - they were relevant. But to speak of anything more domestic a woman could risk sounding more like a homebody than a team player.

That is why a recent dinner conversation involving several professional women was so refreshing. They spent their evening talking about fish guts and earrings.

Women may recognize it as “girls night out” talk, an improvisational dialogue of many voices not necessarily interested in thought development, a style often alien to men who are more programmed to track an idea from germ to epiphany. Still, they might glean some advice.

The women were dining at a Thai restaurant in a big city and someone mentioned that catfish was on the menu. This led another to tell about a special Thai dish that calls for deep fried catfish which she made for her husband’s birthday.

She bought a catfish and brought it home but then realized she didn’t want the whole fish. Because she also needed a special spice she went to another store for that ingredient and brought her fish along, hoping to get it fileted. The store sold her the spice but refused the fish because it wasn’t theirs to begin with.

So, rather than cutting it into luscious parts she decided to simply cook the whole thing and then take the meat off the bones.

Well, she started picking and it was a disaster. She mentioned stuff like entrails and stomach contents and considering that catfish are bottom-feeders you can imagine what garbage was in there. She ended up with a stinky, slimy mess.

She wrapped it up and stuck it in her freezer.

“You put your garbage in the freezer?” asked her table, aghast.

“After it’s frozen it doesn’t stink,” she said. “I don’t want to smell up the garbage can.”

Interesting idea said another at the table, adding that she stores film in the freezer because it keeps longer. Following the theme another said she keeps her pantyhose in the freezer because it keeps them from running.

Yet another woman said that her mother keeps money and important papers in the freezer, which I think sounds great for those people who are always meaning to get a safety deposit box and now can just tell the kids to look for the will between the salmon patties and the frozen spinach.

Another said she knew this cold cash thing was popular because when she shared a room at a spa her roommate stored her purse in the honor bar.

But the best was the one who hides her jewelry in the freezer when she goes on vacation.

She takes the frozen Italian shells that are stuffed with ricotta cheese, defrosts them a little, scoops some cheese out, sticks her rings in, restores the cheese and refreezes the whole thing.

You will not be surprised to learn that she has risen high in her company. And that she also can recommend a good jewelry cleaner.

A couple of the women recalled that their mothers used to put their dad’s shirts in the freezer to keep them cool and moist until ironing day.

Imagine a day devoted to ironing, they shivered, at which point one confessed that she likes to iron. She finds it relaxing, almost a meditative experience, going back and forth on the ironing board and shutting out the day’s chatter.

Could it be that when we threw off the yoke of housework we tossed out the therapy with the drudgery?

Another said she, too, likes to iron, but only because it gives her an excuse to watch really crummy TV.

This is amazing since these are the kind of women you would normally associate with a lap top instead of a steam iron.

I think this frank domestic exchange shows that women have truly made great strides. We have gained the confidence to talk about humble matters and appreciate small joys without compromising our professional status. Look for more helpful hints to come up in locker room conversations and during coffee breaks at workshop conferences.

Recently I learned that a member of my own family is a closet sweeper. She loves to vacuum. It takes her mind off career planning, she says.