Cheap Seats

Be a man, Tom

Why did No. 6 Nebraska, which won back-to-back titles in 1994 and 1995, open its season against Akron, a Mid-American Conference team that went 4-7 last year?

Coach Tom Osborne says the Cornhuskers’ 36-game winning streak at home might frighten potential opponents. Not so, says the University of Southern California, which wants Nebraska to promise to play in Los Angeles before it will commit to playing in Lincoln, Neb.

Unwilling to give up a home game in future schedules, Nebraska ends up tuning up for No. 3 Washington by playing Sept. 13 against Central Florida and Saturday against the Zips in a 59-14 mismatch.

Osborne said last week the Huskers had tentative agreements from Arkansas, USC and Utah to play this weekend, but those teams backed out.

USC and Utah officials discounted the claim, saying they never negotiated to play Nebraska this season.

We prefer to believe that Osborne is a little scared to go on the road after last season’s debacle at Arizona State.

Gateway to Disneyland

The Anaheim Angels’ hopes of signing Mark McGwire this fall when he’s a free agent may be eroding with the welcome the former Oakland Athletics slugger is receiving in St. Louis, where fans come early to watch him in batting practice and cheer even when he strikes out.

“I wish every ballplayer could feel like that,” McGwire said. “It’s absolutely fabulous. People say this is probably the best baseball town in the country. It’s everything and more.”

Yeah, but money talks and McGwire will likely be playing in Disneyland next season.

Point spread takes on a new meaning

In Brownsville, Tenn., a bank wants to offer Haywood High School football fans a certificate of deposit that increases in value based on the team’s margin of victory.

But state and national athletics officials wonder if the well-meaning promotion actually goes against the spirit of high school athletics.

“Why would it be tied to margin of victory?” said Bruce Howard of the National Federation of State High School Associations. “That’s not the essence of high school sports. Certainly a local business being involved in this is great, but that’s the only thing.”

The promotion by the First State Bank of Brownsville works this way:

Only Haywood County residents can purchase the CD for a minimum of $1,000 before Oct. 1, with a starting interest rate of 5.5 percent.

The percentage increases each Monday based on the margin of the football team’s victory Friday nights. If the team wins by seven points, the rate goes up 0.07 to 5.57 percent. If the team wins by 21 points the next game, it increases from 5.57 to 5.78 percent.

Hello, is anybody in there?

What worried St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Todd Stottlemyre about being hit in the ear by a line drive was his response when asked how he felt.

“I feel normal,” he said. “That’s the scary part.”

The last word …

“The way (the Rangers) are acting, I’m sure they’ll be the first team to sign an alien. I just hope the planet of the alien has a right to match.” - Pierre Lacroix, Colorado Avalanche general manager, after matching the New York Rangers’ $21 million bid for Joe Sakic.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo