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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Take Courage, Tell Someone

Ann Landers Creators Syndicate

Dear Ann Landers: I applaud you for addressing the issue of child abuse in your column, but you have not written about young girls being sexually abused by their brothers. I am sure a certain amount of “playing doctor” leaves no permanent damage, but what I am talking about is actual sexual abuse.

I was the victim of sexual abuse by not just one but two brothers. Now, at age 66, I still bear emotional scars from which I have never fully recovered. We were considered a respectable family, but my childhood was spent feeling worthless and ashamed. When I asked my mother for help, she blamed me and called me names I couldn’t understand. My father was a kind and caring man, and I’m sure he would have helped me, but I didn’t ask him because I was too afraid of my mother. I didn’t know I could find help outside the home.

Please spotlight sexual abuse by brothers against their sisters and vice versa. Let the victims know that if they can’t get help within the family, there are others who will listen and help them. Assure them they have done nothing wrong and should not feel ashamed. - No Name, No Initials, From Your Home State of Iowa

Dear Iowa: Children who have been sexually abused often try to abuse other children. An alert teacher can spot these young people, and when they do, they should make an effort to get them into counseling.

It is not easy to broach the subject with a parent (there may be vehement denials), but it is well worth the effort. Consider it an act of compassion and courage.

Dear Ann Landers: This item appeared in the want-ad section of the Kalamazoo Gazette. Here it is verbatim:

“Burmese Python - Just over 5 feet long, with cage, heat rack, good with kids and adults. One year old. Price $100.”

What goes on over there in Michigan? Is it something they put in the water? Who in his right mind would want a snake for a pet? - Grossed Out in Windsor, Ontario

Dear Ontario: Pythons are not poisonous. They kill their prey by encircling and crushing it. I have friends in New York who had a pet python, and they were crazy about it. They took “Herman” out of his cage periodically and gave him the run of the house. Be aware, however, that a python should never be left unobserved especially with small children or pets. The results could be disastrous.

Dear Ann Landers: May I respond to “The Other Woman and Not Ashamed”? I was once in her shoes, feeling sorry for an attractive, trapped married man. I made the mistake of encouraging him to divorce his wife and marry me. After 15 years, during which I helped him raised the children he had with his first wife, I learned he was running around on me. He finally left me for another woman.

I have just one question for “The Other Woman” because I have been asking it of myself: Why do you think he is attractive and wonderful when you know he is running around on his wife? And why does he blame his wife for the lousy marriage when she is at home with the children and he is out with you, cheating on her? The really wonderful married men are at home, enjoying their wives and children. They are not sneaking around with dummies like you - and me, I might add. - Been There, Done That in Jacksonville, Fla.

Dear Jacksonville: It took courage to write that letter, and I thank you for it. I’m sure you opened a lot of eyes today and possibly put the dead hand on several illicit romances. Congratulations.