Joyful Memories Make Vital Connections

Sat., Dec. 6, 1997

Paul Graves Staff writer

Would you help me with a little Christmas-gift dilemma I’m having? The gift is not really my problem.

One question is whether I should send this gift unannounced. The other is whether I should put anything inside it.

Before you get any more confused, you should know the gift I speak of is a toy box.

If it was just any old toy box, I’d have no dilemma. Just fill the box with toys and send it off. That would be that!

But this toy box has important family history and tradition packed inside. You see, it was given to me by my parents close to 50 years ago. It stayed in my parents’ home until I decided to give it to our son, probably 25 years ago.

It’s now in my home, waiting for my son to give it to his daughter.

When Brian was “home” some months ago, he sauntered down memory lane as he wandered through the Legos and who-knows-what-else that still reside in the toy box. He even took a few items back to Milwaukee with him. But he left the toy box with us.

Perhaps it was because he didn’t want to wrestle with it on the plane. But he may have just planned to wait until he had a child he could share it with.

Now, Katherine will celebrate her 4-month “anniversary” at Christmas. Is she old enough for the toy box?

Probably not. But I’m very eager to pass it on to Brian so he can share its legacy with her.

Should I just surprise him and ship it to him before Christmas? Or should I ask him about it, taking the chance he might say, “Let’s hold off, Dad, until Katherine can appreciate it.”

I’m really leaning towards surprising Brian with it. Because in a way, Katherine is only second-in-line to receive the toy box.

First and foremost, it would be a gift for Brian. When he gives it to his daughter is not my decision to make, but his.

There. That decision is almost made.

Now, what should I put in it? Not much, because Brian has a fair amount of significant and silly stuff in the toy box already. There isn’t much more room!

But I could squeeze in a few more things.

Maybe a few religious trinkets I saw in a church-related catalog a few weeks ago. How about the bear-claw ice scrapper with the words, “Our church is special … thanks to you.” No, not personal enough, and supersilly in my estimation.

Maybe a ballpoint pen with a wired angel-shape on top, with the words, “Angels watching over me.” Again so practical but so trivial.

I know! How about some heavenly lollipops (they’re called that, I kid you not!) with the message, “I’m sweet on Jesus!”

These are real gift possibilities - for some people, maybe, but not for me. In my opinion, they trivialize a relationship with God and the church that deserves much more dignity and substance.

Besides, if my gifts are going to be silly, I’d want them to be consistent with our family’s pattern of silliness: clown noses, bubbles for blowing, silly songs.

Or perhaps I could include things that remind him of the joys and love we tried to offer and teach our son as he grew up. Like pictures of him as a child. Maybe a few pictures of his parents as children might be good, too.

You see, I don’t want to send him things he can get at a store in Milwaukee. My boyhood memories that still live in that box didn’t come from a store.

Sure, the toys did. But what I did with those toys, and my parents, and the friends I played with - that came from our hearts.

Likewise, the many items Brian has left in the toy box were bought in many different stores. But the memories he has of how he played with friends, how our family played and laughed - those are heartmemories.

You know as well I do that memories don’t come from a store.

Our legacy of memories come from God! Regardless if God is consciously a part of those memories, they are such a wonderful way God uses to keep us connected with those we love.

That’s what I really want to send Brian and his beautiful family. A legacy of joyful memories. Because those memories keep us connected to each other. And to God.

It sounds like I’ve made the decisions I was wrestling with at the beginning of this rambling. Thanks for your help.

By the way: How are you going to share the wonderful memories you have with the ones you love?

I really hope you get the chance to share your own God-given legacy of memories with at least one person in this season of holy remembering.

xxxx

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